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Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and culture events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and culture events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. v. 2
Nowadays, in this competitive and modern world, there are some debates about importance of art and culture in people`s life. Hence, circumstance of spending money in art, culture and other things in all countries is a prominent challenge for governments. Some social experts believe that to be a successful society, first of all governments should improve the level of culture in countries and in this attitude they should not neglect the importance of art events definitely. In their opinion, cultural events are the foundation of developments in all societies. As a consequence, these experts are unanimous in spending money in culture and art by governments and they emphasize that all governments should predict sufficient money for these events in their annual budget. Furthermore, some artistic experts think that in addition to social benefits of arts, artworks like cinema, music, theater and something like them, have some considerable mental effects on people`s life and because of that they try to persuade governments to invest money for this phenomenon. On the other hand, some economic experts insist that victorious countries invest money to distribute their improvements on economical and industrial indicators. According to last economic reports in European developed countries like Germany more than 85% annual budget is allocated to expanding industrial and economic developments and culture events has less than 5% quota of their budget. Comprehensive investigations in undeveloped countries illustrated that because of poverty, majority of people are reluctant to pursue cultural and artistic activities totally. Additionally, most economists in all over the world claim that generally economic extension cause to improving and facilitating all categories of people`s life undoubtedly. In conclusion, in this century success has several criteria and for majority of people and most governments economic indexes are more important absolutely. I think although economic situation in societies is very important, culture and art events are very essential for development in society as fundamental requirements.
Nowadays, in this competitive and modern world, there are
some
debates about importance of
art
and
culture
in
people`s
life.
Hence
, circumstance of spending
money
in
art
,
culture
and other things in all
countries
is a prominent challenge for
governments
.

Some
social
experts
believe that to be a successful
society
,
first of all
governments
should
improve
the level of
culture
in
countries
and in this attitude they should not neglect the importance of
art
events
definitely. In their opinion, cultural
events
are the foundation of developments in all
societies
. As a consequence, these
experts
are unanimous in spending
money
in
culture
and
art
by
governments and
they emphasize that all
governments
should predict sufficient
money
for these
events
in their annual budget.
Furthermore
,
some
artistic
experts
think
that
in addition
to social benefits of
arts
, artworks like cinema, music, theater and something like them, have
some
considerable mental effects on
people`s
life and
because
of that they try to persuade
governments
to invest
money
for this phenomenon.

On the other hand
,
some
economic
experts
insist that victorious
countries
invest
money
to distribute their improvements on economical and industrial indicators. According to last
economic
reports in European developed
countries
like Germany more than 85% annual budget
is allocated
to expanding industrial and
economic
developments and
culture
events
has less than 5% quota of their budget. Comprehensive investigations in undeveloped
countries
illustrated that
because
of poverty,
majority of
people
are reluctant to pursue cultural and artistic activities
totally
.
Additionally
, most economists in all over the world claim that
generally
economic
extension cause to improving and facilitating all categories of
people`s
life
undoubtedly
.

In conclusion
, in this century success has several criteria and for
majority of
people
and most
governments
economic
indexes are more
important
absolutely
. I
think
although
economic
situation in
societies
is
very
important
,
culture
and
art
events
are
very
essential for development in
society
as fundamental requirements.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
51Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and culture events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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