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Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. v. 1
It is considered by many that, national budget should be used in the field of arts and culture, while others argued that the government should utilize the money on such more necessary areas. Thought this essay, I will explore the dimensions of this topic with illustration of examples and shape up my opinion by the end. For a majority of the population of one nation, spending a good amount of money for organising art and culture-based programmes is crucial in order to transmit the heritage to the contemporary era. In other words, creating specific ceremonies that country`s cultural heritage and tradition displayed can be sufficient to hand dozens of historical value down for youngsters and tourists. Its examples can be seen in developing countries that they easily attract the attention of world traveller by spreading the cultural history and exhibiting paintings and installations of the prominent artists of the country. Some support the idea of putting the investigation in educational areas would be more successful in the future business industry of the government. Particularly, more innovations and development, both in primary school and tertiary education have a vision to grow students as an individual with enough professional background to get high-paid job. For example, relying on a research reported by World Human Organisation, it presents that the positive impact have been observed in those countries which provided an education with technology-focused equipments. To summarize, in comparison, educational investigation would lead the government to dominate the list of the professional companies and employees worldwide instead of inheritancal ceremonies which can be represented as a part of the academic curriculum. In my opinion, it is, however, the responsibility of pedagogues and experts to make a balanced environment for people, both in the field of education and craft.
It
is considered
by
many
that, national budget should be
used
in the field of arts and culture, while others argued that the
government
should utilize the money on such more necessary areas.
Thought
this essay, I will explore the dimensions of this topic with illustration of examples and shape up my opinion by the
end
.

For a majority of the population of one nation, spending a
good
amount of money for
organising
art and culture-based
programmes
is crucial in order to transmit the heritage to the contemporary era.
In other words
, creating specific ceremonies that
country`s
cultural heritage and tradition displayed can be sufficient to hand dozens of historical value down for youngsters and tourists. Its examples can be
seen
in
developing countries
that they
easily
attract the attention of world
traveller
by spreading the cultural history and exhibiting paintings and installations of the prominent artists of the country.

Some
support the
idea
of putting the investigation in educational areas would be more successful in the future business industry of the
government
.
Particularly
, more innovations and development, both in primary school and tertiary education have a vision to grow students as an individual with
enough
professional background to
get
high-paid job.
For example
, relying on
a research
reported by World Human
Organisation
, it presents that the
positive
impact have
been observed
in those countries which provided an education with technology-focused equipments.

To summarize
,
in comparison
, educational investigation would lead the
government
to dominate the list of the professional
companies
and employees worldwide
instead
of
inheritancal
ceremonies which can
be represented
as a part of the academic curriculum. In my opinion, it is,
however
, the responsibility of pedagogues and experts to
make
a balanced environment for
people
, both in the field of education and craft.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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