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Many people keep pets. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of keeping pets for individuals and for society? v.2

Many people keep pets. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of keeping pets for individuals and for society? v. 2
It is an indisputable fact that more and more people raise pets. I strongly believe that the detrimental effects are eclipsed by the beneficial ones in term of individuals and the society. Perhaps the strongest arguments is that the benefits do have several potential cost related to be individuals and society. Looking first at the former, welcoming pets into their home, which contribute to receive an influx of both responsibility and obligation are taken into account. This is because owner’s pets need to regular clean their environment such as cage and carry for them with priority of veterinary attention from time to time. For society, a major disadvantage is that compassion animals are able to put ourselves in danger since diseases from them could jump to humans anytime if people do not check up their healthy issues for a long time. Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I hold belief that owning pets can be far more advantageous. On individual level, some studies indicated that several companion animals like cats and dogs help him to release stress and then develop companionship to lonely him. Indeed, the owner’s pets have a tendency to improve mental well-being by craving for attention and affection. About the societal level, people carrying for pets in general might adore them, this could lead to better treatment of animals including farm and wild animals with full of respect for animal rights. As the result, they would have a good insight about affection of virtually other species. This is bound to have a knock-on effect for society. In conclusion, the positive effects of keeping pets are far greater than the disadvantages involved in both for individuals and for society.
It is an indisputable fact that more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
. I
strongly
believe that the detrimental effects
are eclipsed
by the beneficial ones in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and the society.

Perhaps the strongest arguments is that the benefits do have several potential cost related to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and society. Looking
first
at the former, welcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
into their home, which contribute to receive an influx of both responsibility and obligation
are taken
into account. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
owner’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
need to regular clean their environment such as cage and carry for them with priority of veterinary attention from time to time. For society, a major disadvantage is that compassion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are able to put ourselves in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
since diseases from them could jump to humans anytime if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
up their healthy issues for a long time.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I hold belief that owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
can be far more advantageous. On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies indicated that several companion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like cats and dogs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and then develop companionship to lonely him.
Indeed
, the owner’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
mental well-being by craving for attention and affection. About the societal level,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
carrying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
in general
might adore them, this could lead to better treatment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
including farm and wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with full of respect for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights. As the result, they would have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
insight about affection of
virtually
other species. This
is bound
to have a knock-on effect for society.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are far greater than the disadvantages involved in both for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and for society.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Many people keep pets. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of keeping pets for individuals and for society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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