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More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v.1

More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v. 1
Nowadays, the car becomes the major means of transport for the majority of the population. However, the increase amount of private transport has an important impact on the environment. This essay, will expose the main problems which can be caused by this new development and give some possible solutions. First of all, pollution and traffic conjecture became the main preoccupation of the government. Indeed, traditionally, they need oil to work, but once this oil is used into the engine, it is releaved in the air in CO2 form. According to the professor Mark in his article for the CNRS, cars are the principle responsible of pollution in the world. Moreover, the fact that almost the majority of the inhabitants choose to use their own car than public transport or to get their job by walking create traffic problem and slow down the circulation. For example, it is counted in China that 300 millions cars circulate in the road everyday, with this score China became the higher in term of transport issues. Furthermore, the several problems quote are becoming more environmentally friendly and favourise bike. Government should give more restrictions to companies, such as ask them to be most respectful on the nature and to find another source of propulsion than oil. For instance, Peugeot decided few years ago to create the electical car, it does not reject CO2 in consequence does not cause greenhouse. The secon solution is to favourise bike than single transport. It helps to keep people fit and limits traffic problems. It is predicted than if all the population start to use bike they will not have issue anymore with the circulation. In conclusion, the use of transport is higher than few years ago. It affects on one hand, our environment and on the other hand, our daily life by growing up the rate of pollution and creating circulation congestions. Nevertheless, the simple solution could be to use bike e instead single car or just by imposing industrise to be more eco-friendly
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
becomes the major means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
for the majority of the population.
However
, the increase amount of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on the environment. This essay, will expose the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which can
be caused
by this new development and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, pollution and traffic conjecture became the main preoccupation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Indeed
,
traditionally
, they need oil to work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
once this oil is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
into the engine, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
releaved
in the air in CO2 form. According to the professor Mark in his article for the CNRS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the principle
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
pollution in the world.
Moreover
, the fact that almost the majority of the inhabitants choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
than public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their job by walking create traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and slow down the circulation.
For example
, it
is counted
in China that 300 millions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
circulate in the road
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, with this score China became the higher in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
issues.

Furthermore
, the several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
quote are becoming more
environmentally
friendly and
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should give more restrictions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as ask them to be most respectful on the nature and to find another source of propulsion than oil.
For instance
, Peugeot decided few years ago to create the
Possible spelling mistake found.
electical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, it does not reject CO2 in consequence does not cause greenhouse. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
secon
solution is to
Possible spelling mistake found.
favourise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
than single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fit and limits traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. It
is predicted
than if all the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
they will not have issue anymore with the circulation.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is higher than few years ago. It affects on one hand, our environment and
on the other hand
, our daily life by growing up the rate of pollution and creating circulation congestions.
Nevertheless
, the simple solution could be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
e
instead
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by imposing
Possible spelling mistake found.
industrise
to be more eco-friendly
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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