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More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v.1

More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v. 1
Nowadays, the car becomes the major means of transport for the majority of the population. However, the increase amount of private transport has an important impact on the environment. This essay, will expose the main problems which can be caused by this new development and give some possible solutions. First of all, pollution and traffic conjecture became the main preoccupation of the government. Indeed, traditionally, they need oil to work, but once this oil is used into the engine, it is releaved in the air in CO2 form. According to the professor Mark in his article for the CNRS, cars are the principle responsible of pollution in the world. Moreover, the fact that almost the majority of the inhabitants choose to use their own car than public transport or to get their job by walking create traffic problem and slow down the circulation. For example, it is counted in China that 300 millions cars circulate in the road everyday, with this score China became the higher in term of transport issues. Furthermore, the several problems quote are becoming more environmentally friendly and favourise bike. Government should give more restrictions to companies, such as ask them to be most respectful on the nature and to find another source of propulsion than oil. For instance, Peugeot decided few years ago to create the electical car, it does not reject CO2 in consequence does not cause greenhouse. The secon solution is to favourise bike than single transport. It helps to keep people fit and limits traffic problems. It is predicted than if all the population start to use bike they will not have issue anymore with the circulation. In conclusion, the use of transport is higher than few years ago. It affects on one hand, our environment and on the other hand, our daily life by growing up the rate of pollution and creating circulation congestions. Nevertheless, the simple solution could be to use bike e instead single car or just by imposing industrise to be more eco-friendly
Nowadays, the
car
becomes the major means of
transport
for the majority of the population.
However
, the increase amount of private
transport
has an
important
impact on the environment. This essay, will expose the main
problems
which can
be caused
by this new development and give
some
possible solutions.

First of all
, pollution and traffic conjecture became the main preoccupation of the
government
.
Indeed
,
traditionally
, they need oil to work,
but
once this oil is
used
into the engine, it is
releaved
in the air in CO2 form. According to the professor Mark in his article for the CNRS,
cars
are the principle
responsible of
pollution in the world.
Moreover
, the fact that almost the majority of the inhabitants choose to
use
their
own
car
than public
transport
or to
get
their job by walking create traffic
problem
and slow down the circulation.
For example
, it
is counted
in China that 300 millions
cars
circulate in the road
everyday
, with this score China became the higher in term of
transport
issues.

Furthermore
, the several
problems
quote are becoming more
environmentally
friendly and
favourise
bike
.
Government
should give more restrictions to
companies
, such as ask them to be most respectful on the nature and to find another source of propulsion than oil.
For instance
, Peugeot decided few years ago to create the
electical
car
, it does not reject CO2 in consequence does not cause greenhouse. The
secon
solution is to
favourise
bike
than single
transport
. It
helps
to
keep
people
fit and limits traffic
problems
. It
is predicted
than if all the population
start
to
use
bike
they will not have issue anymore with the circulation.

In conclusion
, the
use
of
transport
is higher than few years ago. It affects on one hand, our environment and
on the other hand
, our daily life by growing up the rate of pollution and creating circulation congestions.
Nevertheless
, the simple solution could be to
use
bike
e
instead
single
car
or
just
by imposing
industrise
to be more eco-friendly
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are relaying private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems and suggest at least one possible solution v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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