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Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. v. 2
Whether or not the young can work efficiently has always been one of the controversial issues. Young people are considered unsuitable for decision-making roles in the authority by some people, however for another group of people the young can be a part of authority as well. Owing to lack of experience and being indecisive, the young might not be able to work in governing positions, however I assume that having modern point of view and need of lucrative job make decision-making positions suitable for young generation. As young people are inexperienced and bad at making decisions, they may not be able to do such challenging jobs. Being inexperienced can make it difficult to fin solutions in gard situations. Overcoming challenges demands life experience which is considerably little in young people. As a result, encountering with hardship in governing, they will not know what to do. For instance, in Bangladesh a 27-year old man was assigned as a minister several decades ago and his lack of experience resulted in unrest among people. If he had experience, this kind of situation would not happen. Furthermore, being indecisive also plays an essential role in the young’s inability to do an authoritative job. Unlike aged people, young generation change their opinions easily, and it can affect not only young people’s position in the government, but also the future of the country. Their wrong decision can cause conflicts and disturbance. Despite the reasons that were mentioned above, there may be some points, such as need of well-paying job and modern outlook, that make the young suitable for governmental positions. To have good living conditions, young people need a high-paying job. The higher position in the government the young have, the more money they will earn. In addition, modernity is also important in ruling the country. Compared to old people, the young have more modern general knowledge. It can lead to the enhancement of the country. For example, after having a young Minister of Foreign Affairs, annual income of Norway increased. In conclusion, although the young may not fit into ruling positions due to not having experience and not being able to make decision, I strongly believe that it is better to have more young people in the government for their need of money and modernity.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
can work
efficiently
has always been one of the controversial issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considered
unsuitable for decision-making roles in the authority by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
for another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
can be a part of authority
as well
. Owing to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and being indecisive, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
might not be able to work in governing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
,
however
I assume that having modern point of view and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of lucrative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decision-making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inexperienced
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
at making decisions, they may not be able to do such challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Being inexperienced
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it difficult to fin solutions in
Possible spelling mistake found.
gard
situations. Overcoming challenges demands life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which is
considerably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, encountering with hardship in governing, they will not know what to do.
For instance
, in Bangladesh a 27-year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was assigned
as a minister several decades ago and his lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
resulted in unrest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If he had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, this kind of situation would not happen.
Furthermore
, being indecisive
also
plays an essential role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young’s
inability to do an authoritative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Unlike aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their opinions
easily
, and it can affect not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the future of the country. Their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision can cause conflicts and disturbance.

Despite the reasons that
were mentioned
above, there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of well-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and modern outlook, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
suitable for governmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. To have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living conditions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have, the more money they will earn.
In addition
, modernity is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in ruling the country. Compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have more modern general knowledge. It can lead to the enhancement of the country.
For example
, after having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Minister of Foreign Affairs, annual income of Norway increased.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
may not fit into ruling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
due to not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and not being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decision, I
strongly
believe that it is better to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of money and modernity.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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