Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words. v.22

: The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. v. 22
Teenage is the most vulnerable age for not only the positive and but also the negative thoughts to incur. Recent criminal records from different countries show the rise in crime rate among teenagers. Teenagers with less guidance are easily dragged into these crimes. One of the reasons in an increase in the crime rate among teenagers is less interaction with their parents. Mostly, in a nuclear family, where both the parents are working, children hardly get time to discuss their problem with them. This results in an increase in boredom and taking advice from such people who already indulge in criminal activities. Another reason could be excessive exposure to social media and getting attracted to the T. V. Programs showing vicious criminal activities. Nowadays, teenagers are picking negative characters shown in movies as their role model. They try to copy their role model and eventually get trapped into one of such crimes. Society and friends are equally responsible for a drastic increase in teenage crime. Teenage with good friend circle and better society possesses good social values and indulge less in criminal activities. On the contrary, a friend indulged in a sin can easily drag another friend and it has been noticed in my own society that few teenagers have started smoking on the terrace with two outsiders. The society and the government bodies can work together to curb the increased crime rate among teenagers. People should take it as their moral responsibility to inform the concerned parents, if they suspect their child in some criminal activities. Government should take initiative to create awareness among teenagers about the strict law and the impact of these activities in their future. Nevertheless, parents are busy with their daily routine, they should take some time to sit and talk to their children about their friends, daily routine and guide them with their experience. In addition to this, parents should share stories about other teenagers who unknowingly indulged in some criminal activities and their fate. Though, being most vulnerable age, teenage is also the age to excel and set up the foundation for successful and prosperous life. Parents are the strong force behind any child and they can teach social values to their children at the appropriate age. Lastly, efforts put together by both parents and government can put a control over drastically increasing teenage crimes all over the world.
Teenage is the most vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts to incur. Recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
records from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
with less guidance are
easily
dragged into these crimes.

One of the reasons in an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
is less interaction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Mostly
, in a nuclear family, where both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working, children hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time to discuss their problem with them. This results in an increase in boredom and taking advice from such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who already indulge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Another reason could be excessive exposure to social media and getting attracted to the T. V. Programs showing vicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are picking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
characters shown in movies as their role model. They try to copy their role model and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
trapped into one of such crimes.

Society and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
equally
responsible for a drastic increase in teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Teenage with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
circle and better society possesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social values and indulge less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
On the contrary
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
indulged in a sin can
easily
drag another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and it has
been noticed
in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
society that few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
smoking on the terrace with two outsiders.

The society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies can work together to curb the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should take it as their moral responsibility to inform the concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, if they suspect their child in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should take initiative to create awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
about the strict law and the impact of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their future.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy with their daily routine, they should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to sit and talk to their children about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, daily routine and guide them with their experience.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should share stories about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
who
unknowingly
indulged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and their fate.

Though, being
Did you mean "the most"?
most
vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, teenage is
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to excel and set up the foundation for successful and prosperous life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the strong force behind any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
they can teach social values to their children at the appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Lastly
, efforts put together by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can put a control over
drastically
increasing teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
all over the world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay : The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. v. 22

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
396 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts