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Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. v. 1
People often say that what you eat is what you are. It is also crucial to maintain a healthy diet to ensure a healthier life. I agree that the government should impose a tax on unhealthy food in order to promote nutritious eating among the public, but everyone has the responsibility in controlling this epidemic. If tax rates are increased then there would be a decrease in the sales of processed food. Due to the high prices of food items, people of low and middle income groups would prefer to eat the homemade food rather than spending their money on street food. However, it may not impact the people who live the luxurious life as they can buy the products without looking at its cost. But, it will reduce and impact the production and sales of unhealthy food as food companies target is selling their products among all levels of people in the world. There should be awareness and consciousness in the public to keep themselves fit and energetic. Firstly, people should start avoiding junk food by replacing it with healthy snacks so that we can reduce the negative impact of food on our health. Also, there should be fitness clubs and wellness centres in every society to bring awareness among the public and to encourage them to stay healthy. As a result, it lowers the rate of health issues in the public and the impact on the health care system. In conclusion, increased tax rates by government might reduce the consumption of unhealthy food, but it's the responsibility of everyone to maintain a healthy lifestyle and to protect themselves from health issues problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
say that what you eat is what you are. It is
also
crucial to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet to ensure a healthier life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a tax on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to promote nutritious eating among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everyone has the responsibility in controlling this epidemic.

If tax rates
are increased
then there would be a decrease in the sales of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Due to the high prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of low and middle income groups would prefer to eat the homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than spending their money on street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
, it may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the luxurious life as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products without looking at its cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
the production and sales of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
target is selling their products among all levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.

There should be awareness and consciousness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and energetic.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
avoiding junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by replacing it with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
snacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Also
, there should be fitness clubs and wellness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in every society to bring awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and to encourage them to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
As a result
, it lowers the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system.

In conclusion
, increased tax rates by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's the responsibility of everyone to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and to protect themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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