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Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometimes it creates tension between people from different cultures, instead of better understanding. Why do you think it is happening and how can be improved? v.1

Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometimes it creates tension between people from different cultures, instead of better understanding. Why do you think it is happening and how can be improved? v. 1
People travel to other countries for many different reasons. Although, it becomes the reason to fight among people belongs to different religions. This essay will cover two areas: causes of this problem which consist of people not knowing other customs; and its solutions, which include people read about destination history and custom before travelling. To begin with, people belong to different ritual live in this world and they travel to other countries or cities where people devote to some other morality and sometime they make fun of them without knowing their customs. For example, In the Sikh religion, people have to wear turban or keep some piece of cloth on their head before entering into Sikh temple. However, if someone does not know about this Sikh custom can cause some misunderstanding between two different religion's people. Thus, not knowing the customs of other spiritually can cause issues. However, tension between two different cultures can be solved if visitor reads about country history and custom before travel. They can search for their destination country's history and about people believes who lives there. Additionally, People also need to be broadminded and understand that the traveller might not aware the rules and try to educate them rather than start fighting. To conclude, lack of awareness is the reason for tension between two different religions and people can solve this issue by educating himself before travelling.
People
travel to
other
countries for
many
different
reasons.
Although
, it becomes the reason to fight among
people
belongs
to
different
religions. This essay will cover two areas: causes of this problem which consist of
people
not knowing
other
customs; and its solutions, which include
people
read about destination history and
custom
before
travelling.

To
begin
with,
people
belong to
different
ritual
live
in this
world and
they travel to
other
countries or cities where
people
devote to
some
other
morality and sometime they
make
fun of them without knowing their customs.
For example
, In the Sikh religion,
people
have to
wear turban or
keep
some
piece of cloth on their head
before
entering into Sikh temple.
However
, if someone does not know about this Sikh
custom
can cause
some
misunderstanding between two
different
religion's
people
.
Thus
, not knowing the customs of
other
spiritually
can cause issues.

However
, tension between two
different
cultures can
be solved
if visitor reads about country history and
custom
before
travel. They can search for their destination country's history and about
people
believes
who
lives
there.
Additionally
,
People
also
need to
be broadminded
and understand that the
traveller
might not aware the
rules
and try to educate them
rather
than
start
fighting.

To conclude
, lack of awareness is the reason for tension between two
different
religions and
people
can solve this issue by educating himself
before
travelling.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometimes it creates tension between people from different cultures, instead of better understanding. Why do you think it is happening and how can be improved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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