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Some people think that the family is the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Which view do you agree with? v.1

Some people think that the family is the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Which view do you agree with? v. 1
Scientific research plays a very important role in the progress of a nation. It is argued that research should be controlled and funded by the government, and not private organisations or institutions. This essay agrees with the argument that the government should carry out various research works in different fields and will outline the reasons why the authority should be responsible for research projects. There are several reasons to support my viewpoint. Firstly, the government is capable of providing financial assistance to various research projects. Moreover, if the project fails to achieve its objectives, the government has the resources to cope up with the losses incurred. Secondly, the main motive of the government in conducting research is public welfare. Thirdly, when government funds research activities, there is utmost security. They do not disclose any information which could hamper national security. That is why research and development in the field of military is carried out by the government. When private organisations conduct research, their chief concern is protecting their interests. This explains why the research conducted by coffee companies or gum companies only highlights the benefits of their products. This is not the case when the government funds research. In this case, the final verdict is more likely to be unbiased. To conclude, after analysing the various aspects of the argument, it is not hard to see that the government funding of research is in the interests of the public. Private organizations, on the other hand, may have their own vexed interests to protect.
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the progress of a nation. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should
be controlled
and funded by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, and not private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
or institutions. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the argument that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should carry out various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields and will outline the reasons why the authority should be responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects.

There are several reasons to support my viewpoint.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is capable of providing financial assistance to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects.
Moreover
, if the project fails to achieve its objectives, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the resources to cope up with the losses incurred.
Secondly
, the main motive of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is public welfare.
Thirdly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
activities, there is utmost security. They do not disclose any information which could hamper national security.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and development in the field of military
is carried
out by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

When private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, their chief concern is protecting their interests. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
conducted by coffee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
or gum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
highlights the benefits of their products. This is not the case when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
In this case
, the final verdict is more likely to
be unbiased
.

To conclude
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the various aspects of the argument, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is in the interests of the public. Private
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
,
on the other hand
, may have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vexed interests to protect.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the family is the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on a child’s success in school. Which view do you agree with? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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