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In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between inequality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in more egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement v.1

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between inequality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in more egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement v. 1
The omnipresence of some languages around the globe has resulted in an anticipation that one specific language will be worldwide spoken by all people in the future. While this trend offers some undeniable benefits, I believe that it is a negative development. On the one hand, it is true that a universal dialect may help remove language barriers, allowing people from different parts of the world to convey their thoughts and ideas more effectively. Using the same language would, as a result, facilitate many fields, including international business transactors, cross-border cooperation and tourism. The emergence of English as the predominant communicative language has testified for this advantage. Furthermore, without linguistic barriers, any country could freely communicate and cooperate with others, forming a global village with a myriad of unprecedented opportunities. On the other hand, I am of the belief that those aforementioned advantages are negligible when compared with the potential consequence. As people around the world speak merely one language, this would lead to the disappearance of many other languages which are integral to the national identities of any country. For example, some ethnic cultures in Taiwan would be on the edge of extinction, if minor languages of these tribes are replaced by one global dialect, which poses a dire threat to Taiwan’s cultural diversity. In conclusion, it seems that people can reap a great number of benefits regarding communication thanks to the use of a universal dialect. I firmly hold the view that the drawbacks should not be overlooked and concrete actions should be taken to retain the linguistic diversity in the world.
The omnipresence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
around the globe has resulted in an anticipation that one specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will be worldwide spoken by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the future. While this trend offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeniable benefits, I believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

On the one hand, it is true that a universal dialect may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barriers, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world to convey their thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
more
effectively
. Using the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
would,
as a result
, facilitate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields, including international business transactors, cross-border cooperation and tourism. The emergence of English as the predominant communicative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has testified for this advantage.
Furthermore
, without linguistic barriers, any country could
freely
communicate and cooperate with others, forming a global village with a myriad of unprecedented opportunities.

On the other hand
, I am of the belief that those aforementioned advantages are negligible when compared with the potential consequence. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world speak
merely
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, this would lead to the disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
which are integral to the national identities of any country.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ethnic cultures in Taiwan would be on the edge of extinction, if minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
of these tribes
are replaced
by one global dialect, which poses a dire threat to Taiwan’s cultural diversity.

In conclusion
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reap a great number of benefits regarding communication thanks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a universal dialect. I
firmly
hold the view that the drawbacks should not
be overlooked
and concrete actions should
be taken
to retain the linguistic diversity in the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between inequality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in more egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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