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some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. do you agree or disagree? include any relevant examples base on your knowladge end experience. v.3

some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. include any relevant examples base on your knowladge end experience. v. 3
Nowadays, it is believed that optimum way to motivate and support people toil is pay employee should appropriate with they produce and sell. In this essay, I completely agree with these statement it gives more merit rather than the dimerit for some reasons. In the one hand, the main benefit of this problem is gives some bonuses to the employee it would motivating to toil in produce and selling their product. It is because motivate will make spirit in work. Firstly, many superiors in the world intensive pay for their employee who has work well. They believed that give this bonuses it will increase the productifity and spirit. Secondly, some research found that company which has good product always guaranteed welfare the employee. Policy the company like this make worker effort to working with maximal. As result they company have product with the best quality and sold well. It is believed that company with good management has productifity and sell well. On the other hand, some employee think if bonuses is not everything that they want. Because some of them just hope can work base on their hobbies and partiality. Taken art workers as an example, they working only want people see and appreciate with the product. It is proven that bonuses is not ardor for every workers. In conclusion, I believed that in this era there are people that work just base on the hobbies. To sum up, it is already clear that bonuses it gives more merit rather than the dimerit. I hope every company in the world considering about welfare the employee that work in their company.
Nowadays, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that optimum way to motivate and support
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
toil is pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
should appropriate with they produce and sell. In this essay, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Did you mean "this statement" or "these statements"?
these statement
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
more merit
rather
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dimerit
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

In the one hand, the main benefit of this problem is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bonuses
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "motivate"
motivating
to toil in produce and selling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
motivate will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
spirit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
superiors in the world intensive pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
who has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bonuses
it will increase the
Possible spelling mistake found.
productifity
and spirit.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
always guaranteed welfare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. Policy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
like this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
worker effort to working with maximal. As
The comma is probably missing here: "result, they".
result they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with the best quality and sold well. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
management has
Possible spelling mistake found.
productifity
and sell well.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "employees"?
employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bonuses
is not everything that they want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hope can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
base on their hobbies and partiality. Taken art workers as an example,
Did you mean "they're working", "they are working", or "they were working"?
they working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and appreciate with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. It
is proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bonuses
is not ardor for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "worker"?
workers
.
In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that in this era there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
base on the hobbies.

To sum up, it is already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bonuses
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
more merit
rather
than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dimerit
. I hope every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in the world
Did you mean simply "considering welfare"? You do not need the word "about" here.
considering about welfare
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them how much they produce and sell. include any relevant examples base on your knowladge end experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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