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Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motobikes. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motobikes. v. 3
It has been observed in most countries that the number of students that are selected for information courses are fewer in the university which could be due to lack of enough resources to practice the lessons being taught in the class and could also affect because of low figure of teachers allocated to tutor skill subjects. To start with, one of the reasons in the minimal turnout of undergraduate in higher institution could be due to the provision of low resources to aid in experiment of what they are taught in the class. This implies that the relief materials needed to explain the lecture in classroom is not sufficient and it can lead to students failing in the hall. For example, a teacher will find it difficult to explain the effect of combining different chemicals to produce an experiment. As a result, it inhibits the essence of the discipline subjects. In addition, this could be hindered because of low figure of teachers who are not well trained and are allocated to teach sciences courses. This will reduce the good image of the academic establishment by having a diminished standard. The drawback of the causes of low production of educational candidates' is that it will have an adverse effect in the labour market because some trained experts such as doctors, nurses, laboratory scientist will be missing. The implication of this is that some of this vital workforce would be incapacitated because they are not available. Furthermore, the use of technology will not be appreciated because most learning subjects are useful in propagating the countries technological capacities. In conclusion, in as much as negative effects of the choice of discipline subjects as being tantamount to its productivity in the university, the effect of the outcome which is insufficient labour force and lack of technological use can't not be overemphasized.
It has
been observed
in most countries that the number of students that
are selected
for information courses are fewer in the university which could be due to lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to practice the lessons
being taught
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and could
also
affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
figure of teachers allocated to tutor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, one of the reasons in the minimal turnout of undergraduate in higher institution could be due to the provision of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
resources to aid in experiment of what they
are taught
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This implies that
the relief materials needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the lecture in classroom is not sufficient and it can lead to students failing in the hall.
For example
, a teacher will find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of combining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chemicals to produce an experiment.
As a result
, it inhibits the essence of the discipline subjects.
In addition
, this could
be hindered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
figure of teachers who are not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
and
are allocated
to teach sciences courses. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
image of the academic establishment by having a diminished standard.

The drawback of the causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
production of educational candidates' is that it will have an adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trained experts such as doctors, nurses, laboratory scientist will be missing. The implication of this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of this vital workforce would
be incapacitated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not available.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology will not
be appreciated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most learning subjects are useful in propagating the countries technological capacities.

In conclusion
, in as much as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the choice of discipline subjects as being tantamount to its productivity in the university, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of the outcome which is insufficient
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force and lack of technological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply "can't"?
can't not
be overemphasized
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motobikes. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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