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Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 4
The majority of the deaths are caused due to road accidents. Some people believe that increase in minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes can avoid the majority of road accidents. I slightly agree that this is the best way to increase road safety and avoid deaths due to accidents. Firstly, dealing with the road accidents by raising the legal age limit for driving cannot results to road safety because there are many other cases such as fines and strict rules that people need to follow. For instance, many people are driving the cars and motor vehicles without driving license and other important documents. So, this leads to accidents and results to death. So, having a strict rule and fines is also a best way to solve safety issues. In contrast, parents should not encourage their children to drive vehicles until a legal age and they should restrict the speed limit in vehicles. However, there should be other programs which people need to strictly follow for their safety. For example, raising the penalty amount can help the majority of the problem as well as it also helps to identify people without driving documents with them. So, there should be a regular inspection on busy roads by traffic police is important to improve road safety. In conclusion, by the above aforementioned points, I slightly agree that increasing the minimum legal driving age is not only the best to control safety. Whereas there are many other ways that the government should implement strictly against the people who broke the traffic rules and there should be other awareness programs in schools on road safety issues and their effects on our lives
The majority of the deaths
are caused
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that increase in minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars or riding motorbikes can avoid the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. I
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this is the best way to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and avoid deaths due to accidents.

Firstly
, dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
by raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "result"
results
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cases such as fines and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to follow.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
the cars and motor vehicles without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
documents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and results to death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, having a strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and fines is
also
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
issues.

In contrast
, parents should not encourage their children to drive vehicles until a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they should restrict the speed limit in vehicles.
However
, there should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
programs which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
strictly
follow for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
For example
, raising the penalty amount can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the majority of the problem
as well
as it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
documents with them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there should be a regular inspection on busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
by traffic police is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.

In conclusion
, by the above aforementioned points, I
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
. Whereas there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement
strictly
against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who broke the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and there should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
awareness programs in schools on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
issues and their effects on our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lives
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age, for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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