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Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 1
Some people contend that the most appropriate method to rise the safeness on roads is restrict the lowest age by low to drive vehicles such as cars, whereas others argue that it’s not the best methodology. While I accept that increasing the minimum age for people to drive cars to some extent, I believe that there are other beneficial ways to reduce traffic accidents for road safety. On the one hand, I agree with the idea that rising the lowest legal age is the best method to decline traffic accidents for some reasons. The young drivers are likely to drive cars with high speeds. For example, in Japan, people can get driver licenses when they are over 18 years old, 18 years old drivers tend to drive with so high speeds and their drivings are so dangerous. Thus, if they cannot drive cars because of the new law in terms of the minimum driving age, road will be more safe. On the other hand, I am convinced that away from restricting the driving minimum age, there are several more efficient ways for road safety. The chief method lies in reducing elderly drivers to reduce traffic accidents. For instance, in Japan, the most reason why traffic accidents happen is old age drivers. Another significant way is to rise the difficulty of exams to obtain driver licenses. For example, Japanese people can take a driver license for only 2 weeks, including paper tests and actual driving tests, and then about 95 % citizens have it. If these tests become more complex, the population having driver licenses will decline and also the restricted population will have better driver skills; as a result, road safety will increase. In conclusion, in fact, I agree that increasing the minimum age to get driver licenses is one efficient was due to above reasons to some extent. However, personally, I believe that reducing old age driver’s population and increasing the difficult of driver’s license exams are more beneficial method to reduce traffic accidents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that the most appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to rise the safeness on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is
Consider using a past participle here: "restricted".
restrict
the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
by low to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
vehicles such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, whereas others argue that it’s not the best methodology. While I accept that increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I believe that there are other beneficial ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that rising the lowest legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to decline
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traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. The young
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drivers
are likely to
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drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
with high speeds.
For example
, in Japan,
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people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
licenses
when they are over 18 years
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old
, 18 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high speeds and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivings
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
Thus
, if they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new law in terms of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
will be more safe.

On the other hand
, I
am convinced
that away from restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, there are several more efficient ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. The chief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
lies in reducing elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
For instance
, in Japan, the most reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
happen is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
. Another significant way is to rise the difficulty of exams to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
licenses
.
For example
, Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 weeks, including paper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, and then about 95 % citizens have it. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
become more complex, the population having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
licenses
will decline and
also
the restricted population will have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
;
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety will increase.

In conclusion
, in fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
licenses
is one efficient was due to above reasons to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
However
,
personally
, I believe that reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver’s
population and increasing
The phrase 'the difficult of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the difficult of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driver’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
license
exams are more beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to increase road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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