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Some people think that the advantages of advertising sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think that the advantages of advertising sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1
It is generally accepted that despite the drawbacks of advertising sport merchandises with the help of well known athletes, this phenomenon has a beneficial impact both on the society and the sports players. In my opinion, the pro’s of promoting sports-related items in such a manner do overweigh the con’s for many reasons discussed below. To begin with, the abovementioned way of advertisement campaigns stimulate the sales of sports goods in various ways. Firstly, a sports star will more likely raise awareness on sports goods, compared to an average individual. It is highly probable that a familiar athlete will draw people’s attention and will therefore upsurge the chances of the product to be sold. Secondly, it is worth mentioning that many children and teenagers get inspired by success stories of famous athletes and wish to follow their examples. This, with no doubt, leads to an increase in the sales of the promoted product. Besides the aforementioned effects, this type of marketing strategy has a beneficial impact on the athletes, too. In other words, not only the target auditorium of the player gets to know the offered product, but also those, who didn’t previously know the celebrity will start getting interested in finding out, who the person is. For example, such famous soccer players as David Beckham and Pele are nowadays popular among non-soccer fans due to the marketing events they participated in. To conclude, I believe that the involvement of a known sportsperson in advertisement of a sports item is a positive event, which both the selling companies and the ad person themselves can benefit from.
It is
generally
accepted
that despite the drawbacks of advertising
sport
merchandises with the
help
of well known
athletes
, this phenomenon has a beneficial impact both on the society and the
sports
players. In my opinion, the pro’s of promoting sports-related items in such a manner do
overweigh
the con’s for
many
reasons discussed below.

To
begin
with, the
abovementioned
way of advertisement campaigns stimulate the sales of
sports
goods
in various ways.
Firstly
, a
sports
star will more likely raise awareness on
sports
goods
, compared to an average individual. It is
highly
probable that a familiar
athlete
will draw
people
’s attention and will
therefore
upsurge the chances of the product to
be sold
.
Secondly
, it is worth mentioning that
many
children and
teenagers
get
inspired by success stories of
famous
athletes
and wish to follow their examples. This, with no doubt, leads to an increase in the sales of the promoted product.

Besides
the aforementioned effects, this type of marketing strategy has a beneficial impact on the
athletes
, too.
In other words
, not
only
the target auditorium of the player
gets
to know the offered product,
but
also
those, who didn’t previously know the celebrity will
start
getting interested in finding out, who the person is.
For example
, such
famous
soccer players as David Beckham and Pele are nowadays popular among non-soccer fans due to the marketing
events
they participated in.

To conclude
, I believe that the involvement of a known sportsperson in
advertisement of
a
sports
item is a
positive
event
, which both the selling
companies
and the ad person themselves can benefit from.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the advantages of advertising sports products through famous sports players outweigh the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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