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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For any business to become successful, it needs to spend a lot of money on advertising. v.531

For any business to become successful, it needs to spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 531
The ultimate purpose of a business is to sell products and services to earn profits; which every company has to make its product known to the public in order to attract them, for which advertising can be a critical mean. In this regard, this question arises if it is necessary for companies to spend lots of money on their advertisement or not. I personally believe that it is a vital activity in marketing and should be spent enough money on it in order to become progress in business for two main reasons which will be demonstrated in the following essay. Advertising is a crucial element for making people aware of one' s products which is important in order to sell it to people. More precisely, when manufacturers produce a new product, people have no idea about that in order to buy it, thus the company has to publicize its product. The best way to do so is to advertise about the product; using social media, websites, advertising campaigns, newspapers, and magazines. To put in simple, these are some advertising elements that are used by the public, so unknown product would be known by people when they read newspapers, magazines, and watch for example television. Moreover, in today' s world, people are connected with each other in a giant chain, thus once some people read about a specific new product in websites, they will talk about it with their friends, families, and even sometimes for mass people. As a result, more and more people will become aware of that product leading to attracting more customers. Announcing people about products can become a vital factor in the failure or success of especially new-in-marketing companies in this sniff competitive business world. To put in simple, when a company starts to produce products, no one knows about it, thus a little neglect in publicizing products can have bad consequences; because people are not aware of the new company, thus the other well-known corporations would sell products, even though they are well-qualified or not. Consequently, the unknown company would probably go bankrupt. Therefore, advertising can take companies far above the failing line into success by making a business' s service known by a crowd of people. Indeed, advertisement is the only means of modifying and improving services based on people' s reaction to that product resulting in finding the right buyers fitting to their products. As a matter of explanation, first that a product or service comes out, it has some pros and cons; people would buy it and they would increase or refute buying based on they liked its features or not. Now, here the advertising plays an imperative role because companies would find out what peoples like and what they do not like about their product, so they would be able to sell more products by eliminating drawbacks and improving the product into user-friendly manner. Thus, after a while, the product will be changed into what people want, and that is the time that the manufacture has reached its potential and true customers. To illustrate, Apple, a productive and successful company, has used advertising since the start of giving services to people, and every time updates its software and hardware, based on what people want. Had not worked on the advertisement, Apple could not have reached such many audiences and sailing. Besides, Apple' s profits outweigh far much the money it has spent on ads, so it is not a waste of money and once the company flourishes the whole money will be back as profits. To sum up, companies by advertising not only make their products well and spread known for people but also result in gathering suitable customers for their specific product. Therefore, the advertising leads into the best and more sailing because of aforementioned approaches; the more companies sell the more profit they gain, thus it is crucial to spend much money on that in order to seek desired success.
The ultimate purpose of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to earn profits; which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
known
to the public in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to attract them, for which advertising can be a critical mean. In this regard, this question arises if it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to spend lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their advertisement or not. I
personally
believe that it is a vital activity in marketing and should
be spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to become progress in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for two main reasons which will
be demonstrated
in the following essay.

Advertising is a crucial element for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. More
precisely
, when manufacturers produce a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
publicize its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. The best way to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is to advertise about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
; using social media, websites, advertising campaigns, newspapers, and magazines. To put in simple, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertising elements that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
known
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they read newspapers, magazines, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
for example
television.
Moreover
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are connected
with each other in a giant chain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
once
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read about a specific new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in websites, they will talk about it with their friends, families, and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
for mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become aware of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
leading to attracting more customers. Announcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can become a vital factor in the failure or success of
especially
new-in-marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
in this sniff competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
world. To put in simple, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, no one knows about it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
neglect in publicizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
the other well-known corporations would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
even though
they are well-qualified or not.
Consequently
, the unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would
probably
go bankrupt.
Therefore
, advertising can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
far above the failing line into success by making a
Possible spelling mistake found.
business&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
known
by a crowd of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Indeed
, advertisement is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means of modifying and improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
based on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s reaction to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
resulting in finding the right buyers fitting to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As a matter of explanation,
first
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they would increase or refute buying based on they liked its features or not.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, here the advertising plays an imperative role
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
would find out what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
like and what they do not like about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they would be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by eliminating drawbacks and improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
into user-friendly manner.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Thus
, after a while, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
into what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want, and
that is
the time that the manufacture has reached its potential and true customers. To illustrate, Apple, a productive and successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
advertising since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and every time updates its software and hardware, based on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want. Had not worked on the advertisement, Apple could not have reached such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audiences and sailing.
Besides
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Apple&
#039; s profits outweigh far much the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
it has spent on ads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
flourishes the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be back as profits.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
by advertising not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
well and spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
known
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
result in gathering suitable customers for their specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Therefore
, the advertising leads into the best and more sailing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of aforementioned approaches; the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sell
the more profit they gain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
it is crucial to spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to seek desired success.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
87Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay For any business to become successful, it needs to spend a lot of money on advertising. v. 531

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
660 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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