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Some companies decided not to allow employees to discuss about business by sending emails or message on the weekend. Some people believe that this policy will discourage employees. What is your opinion and why? v.2

Some companies decided not to allow employees to discuss about business by sending emails or message on the weekend. Some people believe that this policy will discourage employees. What is your opinion and why? v. 2
In this competitive world, the business world plays a pivotal role in people' s lives. In this regard, some employees might have their own policies at the workplace for their employees, one of which can be preventing the staff from contacting each other by email or message during the weekend in order to talk about the business. Now, some people may think that this policy is will impact the staff negatively by discouraging them, in my perspective, however, the policy will be efficient and effective due to two main reasons which will be demonstrated in the following essay. To begin with, being free of the business world in the weekend will make a valuable time for the employees to spend with their families, which in return will make them work enthusiastically in the workplace resulting in high efficiency. In other words, during the weekdays the staff are busy with hard work and there is lots of pressure on them, which makes them tiered; thus, they need some days to rest and have an enjoyable time with their family. It is a widespread fact that when people spend some time with their loved ones without any external distractions, their mind becomes free of stresses and tensions resulting in their highly ability to concentrate on their work. Therefore, by having a free of business world weekend employees will be able to higher the quality and efficiency of their work as well as spend joyful time with their family. Second, by the policy of having business-free time on weekends will result in the employees’ motivation to work eagerly in working days because they will realize that their company treats them valuably. To clarify, no need to say, if someone has enough motivation for doing an affair, then he will do it willingly leading into high effectiveness regardless of being hard or easy. In this vein, when a hypothetical corporation makes their staff to rest on the weekend rather than talking about the workplace, in fact, they treat them worthy. As a result, they earn the employees' heart and trust, which makes them work as hard as they can at work time. To sum up, the logic of forbidding the workers from talking about work stuff during the weekend is a very positively effective way; this method encourages the staff to work not only with higher quality due to being with family on weekends but also with high level of motivation resulting from being treated invaluable by companies, as a whole resulting in high quality, efficiency, and happiness of workers and corporations.
In this competitive
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world
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
plays a pivotal role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this regard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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employees
might have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policies
at the workplace for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, one of which can be preventing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
from contacting each other by email or message during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
in order to talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
is will impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
negatively
by discouraging them, in my perspective,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
will be efficient and effective due to two main reasons which will
be demonstrated
in the following essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, being free of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to spend with their families, which in return will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
enthusiastically
in the workplace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resulting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
efficiency.
In other words
, during the weekdays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
are busy with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and there is lots of pressure on them, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them tiered;
thus
, they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days to rest and have an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family. It is a widespread fact that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones without any external distractions, their mind becomes free of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
and tensions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resulting
in their
highly
ability to concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Therefore
, by having a free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
will be able to higher the quality and efficiency of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as spend joyful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family.

Second, by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
policy
of having business-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
will result in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
eagerly
in working days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will realize that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
treats them
Possible spelling mistake found.
valuably
. To clarify, no need to say, if someone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
motivation for doing an affair, then he will do it
willingly
leading into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
effectiveness regardless of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
or easy. In this vein, when a hypothetical corporation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
to rest on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
rather
than talking about the workplace, in fact, they treat them worthy.
As a result
, they earn the
Possible spelling mistake found.
employees&
#039; heart and trust, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as they can at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
time.

To sum up, the logic of forbidding the workers from talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
stuff during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
positively
effective way; this method encourages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with higher quality due to being with family on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of motivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resulting
from
being treated
invaluable by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, as a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resulting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
quality, efficiency, and happiness of workers and corporations.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some companies decided not to allow employees to discuss about business by sending emails or message on the weekend. Some people believe that this policy will discourage employees. What is your opinion and why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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