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Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they sould challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they sould challenge the old thoughts. v. 1
It is a controversial issue as to whether adolescents ought to follow the convention of their ancestors, or, whether they had better raise questions on orthodox and other beliefs of older people. From my perspective, young generation excepts those thoughts of predecessors, which is essential in everyday life and rejects those sorts of beliefs that hamper them. To begin with, from many generations, people nourish some facts and ideas, which are, invariably, helping till now, even though juveniles do not follow. However, if they abide by these rules, they would get a success in life. For example, in India, most of the parents have a good knowledge of education, which they learnt it from teachers at their school such as early rising, memorizing critical topic in the morning, maintaining a balance-diet, eating meals on time. These days, students are unbridled in following any of these regulations that Japanese maintain from the time immemorial. As a result, they lag behind not only in good health but also studying properly. In contrast, there are some disadvantages to obey the tradition, and it should not be done by young people. In Hinduism, for instance, before 100 years ago, people used to sacrifice children before idols of goddesses. Thinking that goddesses might be happy, who could bestow wealth, fame and other happiness of life. Now, the present generation should raise their voice against this inhuman attitude, though it is prevailing some parts of the area in India. Another important factor is childhood marriages, which are ubiquitous from western countries to Asian countries. For that reason, teenagers should take a legal action about this. Thus, some conventions must restrict by the hand of youngsters. In conclusion, although myriads of masses think that children should follow the tradition of older people, some believe that they should fight against old thoughts. In my opinion, the idea, which is positive, has to accept by teenagers, and the negative ideas must be challenged through them.
It is a controversial issue
as to whether
adolescents ought to follow the convention of their ancestors, or, whether they had better raise questions on orthodox and other beliefs of older
people
. From my perspective, young generation excepts those thoughts of predecessors, which is essential in everyday life and rejects those sorts of beliefs that hamper them.

To
begin
with, from
many
generations,
people
nourish
some
facts and
ideas
, which are,
invariably
, helping till
now
,
even though
juveniles do not follow.
However
, if they abide by these
rules
, they would
get
a success in life.
For example
, in India, most of the parents have a
good
knowledge of education, which they
learnt
it from teachers at their school such as early rising, memorizing critical topic in the morning, maintaining a balance-diet, eating meals on time. These days, students
are unbridled
in following any of these regulations that Japanese maintain from the time immemorial.
As a result
, they lag behind not
only
in
good
health
but
also
studying
properly
.

In contrast
, there are
some
disadvantages to obey the tradition, and it should not
be done
by young
people
. In Hinduism,
for instance
,
before
100 years ago,
people
used
to sacrifice children
before
idols of goddesses. Thinking that goddesses might be happy, who could bestow wealth, fame and other happiness of life.
Now
, the present generation should raise their voice against this inhuman attitude, though it is prevailing
some
parts of the area in India. Another
important
factor is childhood marriages, which are ubiquitous from western countries to Asian countries. For that reason,
teenagers
should take a legal action about this.
Thus
,
some
conventions
must
restrict by the hand of youngsters.

In conclusion
, although myriads of masses
think
that children should follow the tradition of older
people
,
some
believe that they should fight against
old
thoughts. In my opinion, the
idea
, which is
positive
,
has to
accept by
teenagers
, and the
negative
ideas
must
be challenged
through them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they sould challenge the old thoughts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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