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Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion? v.2

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. What is your opinion? v. 2
There are various kinds of drugs and Tobacco is one of them and there is no restriction to the people to use it. There is an argument that compared with other drugs such as Heroine and Pathedrine, tobacco should be banned. This essay totally disagrees with this view because nicotine has a different impact on human than other drugs and it can be used for health treatment. In my opinion, it is better to make a new regulation than banning. People have been smoking for a long time and it has been seen that its impact on health and society is different than other drugs. Alcohol, Heroine, Marijuana, Cocaine taking person behave a different way, such as they lose control over themselves, use slang language or start fight to an unknown issue. For example, there was a study at the University of New South Wales on domestic violence where alcoholic persons are more keen to involve in a violent activity than smokers. Moreover, smoking cigarettes help people to have a short relief from their stress and anxiety. People smoke because they take it as a self medication. Therefore, banning tobacco products will create a social chaos where these smokers will go anywhere to buy their cigarettes. Smoking has lots of negative effects on healths such as lung cancer, heart disease, tuberculosis, but it might be used for good health products. Researchers have found that Marijuana can be used for the treatment of Alzimer sickness. Similarly nicotine can be used for other disease and making tobacco illegal will not give any chance to have more research. However, Governments need to have a clear law on producing tobacco and its related products where the companies will have to act and follow the regulation. In addition to this, banning smoking in a public place should be the first priority because it harms passive smokers. In conclusion, individuals have been smoking for a long time and there was no banning on it because it does not have an immediate impact like other drugs. Sometimes people smoke to release mental pressure and it could be used for future medication. It is predicted that, there will be global rules for smoking tobacco.
There are various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tobacco
is one of them and there is no restriction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. There is an argument that compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
such as Heroine and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pathedrine
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
should
be banned
. This essay
totally
disagrees with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nicotine has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
impact on human than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
treatment. In my opinion, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a new regulation than banning.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
for a long time and it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that its impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and society is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. Alcohol, Heroine, Marijuana, Cocaine taking person behave a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, such as they lose control over themselves,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
slang language or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
fight to an unknown issue.
For example
, there was a study at the University of New South Wales on domestic violence where alcoholic persons are more keen to involve in a violent activity than smokers.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
cigarettes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a short relief from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
smoke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they take it as a self medication.
Therefore
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
products will create a social chaos where these smokers will go anywhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their cigarettes.

Smoking has lots of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
such as lung cancer, heart disease, tuberculosis,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
products. Researchers have found that Marijuana can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the treatment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alzimer
sickness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
nicotine can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disease and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
illegal will not give any chance to have more research.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
need to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
law on producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and its related products where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act and follow the regulation.
In addition
to this, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in a public place should be the
first
priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it harms passive smokers.

In conclusion
, individuals have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
for a long time and there was no banning on it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not have an immediate impact like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
smoke to release mental pressure and it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for future medication. It
is predicted
that, there will be global
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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