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Some people believe that young people should follow the older generation’s example. Others, however, disagree and believe that it’s good to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that young people should follow the older generation’s example. Others, however, disagree and believe that it’s good to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 2
There has been an utter change in the lifestyles of people thanks to the information technology and globalization. Nowadays, it is said as wise to obey the footprints, old-age citizens, in the turning points of one’s life. However, some people argue that the best way is to go with own tastes and insights rather than obeying the advice of senior generation. I believe although, international culture does not need guidance from parental figures, the experiences shared by them have a major role in success. Firstly, as the axiom goes ‘as people get older, people get wiser’, a handful of people trusts the opinions of the most experienced members of the society. To put it in another, many individuals consider experience is the best teacher and accept or request for some advice each and every moment of life as they touch stoned their skills, such as, by solving problems, building teams and leading a wonderful life on the planet earth. So, they have acquired much of insights what might happen in certain situations that the present generation could face when experimenting on their turning points. Secondly, since the present generation is friendly with the advanced amenities they are able to meet the needs faster than in the previous decades. In other words, people are able to control or perform multiple tasks more efficiently and effectively than old age people could imagine once. As a result, the insights of senior citizens have no room in the day-to-day activities of the present generation. To conclude, whether to follow the thoughts and guidance of geriatric or it is good to decide oneself is debated among many. However, I believe would be better considering their experiences up to a certain level and exploring the world oneself in the fields where there is no hand for the wisest generation.
There has been an utter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thanks to the information technology and globalization. Nowadays, it
is said
as wise to obey the footprints,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age citizens, in the turning points of one’s life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the best way is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
tastes and insights
rather
than obeying the advice of senior generation. I believe although, international culture does not need guidance from parental figures, the experiences shared by them have a major role in success.

Firstly
, as the axiom goes ‘as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wiser’, a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trusts the opinions of the most experienced members of the society. To put it in another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals consider experience is the best teacher and accept or request for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice each and every moment of life as they touch stoned their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as, by solving problems, building teams and leading a wonderful life on the planet earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they have acquired much of insights what might happen in certain situations that the present generation could face when experimenting on their turning points.

Secondly
, since the present generation is friendly with the advanced amenities they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs faster than in the previous decades.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to control or perform multiple tasks more
efficiently
and
effectively
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could imagine once.
As a result
, the insights of senior citizens have no room in the day-to-day activities of the present generation.

To conclude
, whether to follow the thoughts and guidance of geriatric or it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to decide oneself
is debated
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
However
, I believe would be better considering their experiences up to a certain level and exploring the world oneself in the fields where there is no hand for the wisest generation.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Some people believe that young people should follow the older generation’s example. Others, however, disagree and believe that it’s good to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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