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In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v.15

In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 15
The safety of the youth is argued by many to be pivotal to the societies’ development and well-being. Adolescents, in some regions of the United States, are placed under a curfew, forbidding them from being outdoors without the supervision of a fully-grown person during a late-night hour. From my vantage point, having this time limit can be highly beneficial for both teens and the society. On the one hand, the youth, themselves, will benefit greatly from this ban. Firstly, when they are out of the house while they are being monitored by an adult, they are less likely to be approached, abused, robbed, or kidnapped by criminals, sexual predators or paedophiles. For example, drug mafia, who generally target new customers under the cover of darkness, will not stand any chance to prey on adolescents wandering the streets alone, or in company with their peers. Teenagers, therefore, won’t be enticed into drug abuse, and alcohol consumption. As they normally tend to use them out of curiosity, which can plunge them into a never-ending addiction. In addition, if children, who are in their teens, leave the house at certain times in their parents’ company, hardly will they place the society in vulnerable circumstances. It is believed by some that if such prohibitions had been imposed earlier, societies wouldn’t be thrown into the current chaos and confusion, from which it is suffering. For instance, some statistics show that teenagers often get drunk and misbehave in public only when they are not accompanied by someone from their family. A small unintentional manoeuvre by a drunk youngster at night can be mistaken as a serious violent threat by the public or the authorities. Consequently, this misconduct can lead to adverse consequences such as prison, injury, or at worst, death. In conclusion, Since crime rates have been increasing in many localities in recent years, it is vitally important not to safeguard the teenagers from harm of any kind, but to set such restrictions as curfew for people, especially the youngsters and young adults. The presence of an adult family member can prevent these types of situations and protect the adolescents from falling victim to such unlawful activities.
The safety of the youth
is argued
by
many
to be pivotal to the societies’ development and well-being. Adolescents, in
some
regions of the United States,
are placed
under a curfew, forbidding them from being outdoors without the supervision of a
fully
-grown person during a late-night hour. From my vantage point, having this time limit can be
highly
beneficial for both teens and the society.

On the one hand, the youth, themselves, will benefit
greatly
from this ban.
Firstly
, when they are out of the
house
while they are
being monitored
by an adult, they are less likely to
be approached
, abused, robbed, or kidnapped by criminals, sexual predators or
paedophiles
.
For example
, drug mafia, who
generally
target new customers under the cover of darkness, will not stand any chance to prey on adolescents wandering the streets alone, or in
company
with their peers.
Teenagers
,
therefore
, won’t
be enticed
into drug abuse, and alcohol consumption. As they
normally
tend to
use
them out of curiosity, which can plunge them into a never-ending addiction.

In addition
, if children, who are in their teens,
leave
the
house
at certain times in their parents’
company
, hardly will they place the society in vulnerable circumstances. It
is believed
by
some
that if such prohibitions had
been imposed
earlier, societies wouldn’t
be thrown
into the
current
chaos and confusion, from which it is suffering.
For instance
,
some
statistics
show
that
teenagers
often
get
drunk and misbehave in public
only
when they are not accompanied by someone from their family. A
small
unintentional
manoeuvre
by a drunk youngster at night can
be mistaken
as a serious violent threat by the public or the authorities.
Consequently
, this misconduct can lead to adverse consequences such as prison, injury, or at worst, death.

In conclusion
, Since crime rates have been increasing in
many
localities in recent years, it is
vitally
important
not to safeguard the
teenagers
from harm of any kind,
but
to set such restrictions as curfew for
people
,
especially
the youngsters and young adults. The presence of an adult family member can
prevent
these types of situations and protect the adolescents from falling victim to such unlawful activities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In some area of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion on this? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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