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Some people think that teenagers should do unpaid work to help society because this will help them to be better individuals and also improve the society a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal? v.1

Some people think that teenagers should do unpaid work to help society because this will help them to be better individuals and also improve the society a whole. with this proposal? v. 1
Petrol is the most important ingredients for the vehicle. Most of the vehicles need petrol. Raising the cost of petrol is one of the most valuable ways to improve traffic and pollution problems. I think, this action might be effective, but this is not the only way to reduce traffic and pollution problems. There are some other different action to control traffic and pollution. Petrol is much needed product. Most of the transport cannot run without petrol oil. If petrol price is increased people are limited using their own car or motorcycle. Because, the daily life cost is going to be high. They need to pay extra money for petrol. For example, I have a car. If petrol price is high, I do not want to use my vehicle, in case of emergency. I am trying to use public or other transports to go anywhere. So, I think, many people’s thinking is same as me and this is the one step to reduce traffic and pollution problems. Secondly, many people are using bicycles to go for long distance and walking in the short distance. In this process people, traffic and the environment are benefited. People can spend a healthy life. Traffic and pollution problems are almost solved. On the other hand, in recent time, many vehicles are running with electricity and gas and these vehicles are Eco friendly. These types of transport cannot create pollution, but create traffic jams. If people using this vehicle in a huge amount, the traffic jam cannot be reduced. If petrol price is high, some people still using their own vehicle. That’s creating a huge traffic. In conclusion, the increase petrol price is not a permanent solution. I agree this solution, but there are other solutions. Using bicycles and walking is the best solution to reduce traffic and pollution problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Petrol
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
ingredients for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
. Raising the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
is one of the most valuable ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, this action might be effective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
action to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and pollution.

Petrol is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
product. Most of the transport cannot run without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
oil. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are limited
using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
car or motorcycle.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, the daily life cost is going to be high. They need to pay extra money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
For example
, I have a car. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is high, I do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
, in case of emergency. I am trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
transports to go anywhere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
thinking is same as me and this is the one step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using bicycles to go for long distance and walking in the short distance. In this process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and the environment
are benefited
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can spend a healthy life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are almost solved.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in recent time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are running with electricity and gas and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are Eco friendly. These types of transport cannot create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
in a huge amount, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
. That’s creating
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "huge traffic".
a huge traffic
.

In conclusion
, the increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
is not a permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
. Using bicycles and walking is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should do unpaid work to help society because this will help them to be better individuals and also improve the society a whole. with this proposal? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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