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Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are most interested in Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are most interested in 1
Traffic congestion in many cities around the world is severe. One possible solution to this problem is to impose heavy taxation on car drivers. Then this money can be used to improve public transport. However, I believe that this solution could be unfair to some people. One of the first benefits of such a measure is that the excessive taxes would discourage car owners from using their cars because it would become very expensive to drive. This would mean that more people would make use of public transport, and thus reducing traffic congestion and pollution as well. Moreover, if the revenue obtained is used to update bus system and trains, more citizens will be encouraged to abandon driving their private vehicles. It is often the case that public transport in cities is very poor. For example, we often see old buses and trains that people would rather not use. High taxes would generate enough money to make the necessary changes. Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to such a solution. First and foremost, this would be an added burden on car drivers. At present, taxes are already high for a lot of people, and so further taxes would only mean less money at the end of the month for most people who may have no choice but to drive every day. In addition, this type of tax would likely be set at a fixed amount. This would mean that it would hit those with less moneyy harder, whilst the rich could likely afford it. It is therefore not a fair tax. To conclude, this solution is worth considering to improve the current situation, but there are advantages and disadvantages of introducing such a policy. Therefore, careful consideration should be taken before implemnting this strategy.
Traffic congestion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities around the world is severe. One possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to this problem is to impose heavy taxation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drivers. Then this money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public transport.
However
, I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
could be unfair to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One of the
first
benefits of such a measure is that the excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners from using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive to drive. This would mean that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of public transport, and
thus
reducing traffic congestion and pollution
as well
.
Moreover
, if the revenue obtained is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to update bus system and trains, more citizens will
be encouraged
to abandon driving their private vehicles. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case that public transport in cities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor.
For example
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
buses and trains that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
rather
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Nevertheless
, there are drawbacks to such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
.
First
and foremost, this would be an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
drivers. At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are already high for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mean less money at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who may have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to drive every day.
In addition
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
would likely
be set
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
amount. This would mean that it would hit those with less
Possible spelling mistake found.
moneyy
harder, whilst the rich could likely afford it. It is
therefore
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
tax.

To conclude
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is worth considering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are advantages and disadvantages of introducing such a policy.
Therefore
, careful consideration should
be taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake found.
implemnting
this strategy.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects they are best at or they are most interested in 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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