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Some people think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compared the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v.1

Some people think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compared the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v. 1
There have been a lot of debates on who is to manage the cleanliness and tidiness of their immediate environment. Some are of the belief that governments are to be responsible while some on the other hand, belong to the school of thought that the residents are to cater for cleaning the dirt’s in their neighbourhood. In my opinion, I think individuals should be responsible for the upkeep of the residential areas. On one hand, there are responsibilities that individuals need to perform in order to have a healthy and comfortable living. Governments are to provide the basic amenities like water, electricity and also good roads. Healthy life for the citizens should also be of priorities to the governing bodies. For Instance, government should provide a dump stand where all the dirts should be dropped and provide a truck that will be coming to pick them up on a regular basis so as to avoid the dump stand getting full and spilling across the streets. On the other hand, some are of the thought that individuals or residents should be responsible for tidying up their streets which I strongly agree. Cleanliness is a function of individuals. Residents should desist from clogging the drainages especially in some Western African countries with open drainages, by allowing the free flow of water across these channels and also ensure proper disposal of their bins to the dump stands so as to allow government officials to be able to dispose them properly. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I believe the upkeep of our environment should be the resident’s responsibilities and not that of the government.
There have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
debates on who is to manage the cleanliness and tidiness of their immediate environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are to be responsible while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
on the other hand
, belong to the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
are to cater for cleaning the dirt’s in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should be responsible for the upkeep of the residential areas.

On one hand, there are responsibilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need to perform in order to have a healthy and comfortable living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
are to provide the basic amenities like water, electricity and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roads. Healthy life for the citizens should
also
be of priorities to the governing bodies.
For Instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide a dump stand where all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirts
should
be dropped
and provide a truck that will be coming to pick them up on a regular basis
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
avoid the dump stand getting full and spilling across the streets.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
should be responsible for tidying up their streets which I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. Cleanliness is a function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Residents
should desist from clogging the drainages
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Western African countries with open drainages, by allowing the free flow of water across these channels and
also
ensure proper disposal of their bins to the dump stands
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
officials to be able to dispose them
properly
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I believe the upkeep of our environment should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident’s
responsibilities and not that of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Compared the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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