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Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.1

Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion 1
Nowadays a type of fighting sports like martial arts and boxing are becoming popular as an international competition. There is a group of people who think that these types of sports are very violent and for that reason, they should be banned from worldwide tournaments. I completely disagree with the point of view and this essay will give a brief description of the point and also will give reasons in support of my opinion. Various kinds of martial arts like Kungfu, Karate, boxing and so on are becoming more and more popular day by day as a form of self-defence as well as sport. Therefore, we can see martial arts in many international events for example Olympic games, Asian games etc. Although the intention of those games is never to hurt someone, players do get injured occasionally. In addition, some parents say that their children are becoming aggressive after watching these events. As a result, a number of people have started to think that all forms of martial arts are too violent to be a part of international competitions. On the contrary, the true goal of martial arts is self-defence. It is also a form of self-discipline which makes a person a better version of himself. It teaches someone the necessary skills to protect themselves from the perpetrator, if the situation arises. Moreover, it strengthens both body and mind. A recent study has shown that people who practice martial arts or at least take an interest in it, are more positive towards life than others. They are well-mannered, confident and helpful towards fellow human beings. Children are also benefiting from it as it is a great sport, although parental guidance is necessary in this regard. To summarize, we can say that, even though there are small injuries and minor risks, the advantages of martial arts outweighs its disadvantages in every aspect. So, I do not see any reason to ban them from international events.
Nowadays a type of fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and boxing are becoming popular as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
competition. There is a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
violent and for that reason, they should
be banned
from worldwide tournaments. I completely disagree with the point of view and this essay will give a brief description of the point and
also
will give reasons in support of my opinion.

Various kinds of martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kungfu
, Karate, boxing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on are becoming more and more popular day by day as a form of
Possible spelling mistake. 'self-defence' is British English.
self-defence
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Therefore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
for example
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
, Asian games etc. Although the intention of those games is never to hurt someone, players do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured
occasionally
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents say that their children are becoming aggressive after watching these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
As a result
, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all forms of martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are too violent to be a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
competitions.

On the contrary
, the true goal of martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'self-defence' is British English.
self-defence
. It is
also
a form of self-discipline which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person a better version of himself. It teaches someone the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to protect themselves from the perpetrator, if the situation arises.
Moreover
, it strengthens both body and mind. A recent study has shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who practice martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
or at least take an interest in it, are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
towards life than others. They are well-mannered, confident and helpful towards fellow human beings. Children are
also
benefiting from it as it is a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, although parental guidance is necessary in this regard.

To summarize
, we can say that,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
injuries and minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, the advantages of martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
outweighs its disadvantages in every aspect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any reason to ban them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world They should be introduced into classrooms and their programs used for direct teaching purposes Argue both sides and give your opinion 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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