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Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the teenagers and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the teenagers and society as a whole. v. 1
In recent decades, doing volunteer work in spare time has been receiving a lot of teenagers around the world. Although many people think that doing unpaid work is a waste of time, I concur that this would benefit both young people and community. There are a number of reasons why volunteering in free time will help teenagers themsemselves. Firstly, unpaid work allow teens to broaden their own knowledge about different fields and their communities through real experiences. For example, if they participate in a teaching project for poor kids in another country, this can help them to improve their english skills and have new foreign friends, those are hard to get when they just study and work in Vietnam. Secondly, volunteer work inhances their resume when young people seek a job in the future. In fact, candidates are both good at studying in school and social work can get a priority when applying for a job. It is obvious that, volunteer workers can create valuable community services, solving needs of people. Volunteer work such as supporting the poor with food and clothes can help poor people in the short term. In addition, young people can impact on the environment to help the community has a better life. For instance, planting trees and stop using plastic bags will help not only to make the surroundings clean but reduce the polution also to a great extent. In conclusion, doing unpaid work can “kill two birds with one stone” because it has great advantages both for sociaty and for individuals. Parents, as well as teacher should encourage the teens to take part in activities of serving the community in ther free time.
In recent decades, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has been receiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
around the world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I concur that this would benefit both young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and community.

There are a number of reasons why volunteering in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
Possible spelling mistake found.
themsemselves
.
Firstly
, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
teens to broaden their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
through real experiences.
For example
, if they participate in a teaching project for poor kids in another country, this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and have new foreign friends, those are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in Vietnam.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhances
their resume when young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek a job in the future. In fact, candidates are both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at studying in school and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a priority when applying for a job.

It is obvious that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
workers can create valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services, solving needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as supporting the poor with food and clothes can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the short term.
In addition
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can impact on the environment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
has a better life.
For instance
, planting trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using plastic bags will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the surroundings clean
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
polution
also
to a great extent.

In conclusion
, doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can “kill two birds with one stone”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has great advantages both for
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
and for individuals. Parents,
as well
as teacher should encourage the teens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in activities of serving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the teenagers and society as a whole. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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