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Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v.2

Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v. 2
Inevitably, technology has revolutionised the world. It is argued that the technology has complicated our lifestyle, but it must not be forgotten that it has been beneficial in terms of making life convenient. I strongly believe that the advantages of technology outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss the issue, using examples of the internet and MRI scan in the UK to demonstrate points and support arguments. Firstly, there is ample evidence to suggest that the technology has made the human life easy going, especially related to connecting with friends and the world. The reason behind this is that with the advancement in the information technology, one can easily connect with their loved ones. For instance, unlike in the past, nowadays people use the internet not only to keep in touch with their friends and family but also to get information from around the world instantaneously. Therefore, it is an undeniable truth that the modern technology such as the internet has made possible to connect with the world conveniently. Secondly, it is evident that the advancement of technology in the medical field has a positive impact on human life. This is due to the fact that by using modern technology on the healthcare system, people may have a healthy and comfortable life. For example, recent studies by General Medical Council in the UK showed that after an MRI scan had been installed, the rate of diagnosis of cancer almost tripled compared to the previous year, and this eventually provides people to get an early treatment. As a consequence, unsurprisingly, with the use of modern equipment in hospitals, people would get better health facilities. To conclude, I believe that the technology has tremendous benefit in our life and had made our life far easier than our grandparent times. This is mainly because of the use of the internet and better health facilities.
Inevitably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. It
is argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has complicated our lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be forgotten
that it has been beneficial in terms of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
convenient. I
strongly
believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
outweigh the drawbacks. This essay will discuss the issue, using examples of the internet and MRI scan in the UK to demonstrate points and support arguments.

Firstly
, there is ample evidence to suggest that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy going,
especially
related to connecting with friends and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. The reason behind this is that with the advancement in the information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, one can
easily
connect with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
For instance
, unlike in the past, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information from around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
instantaneously
.
Therefore
, it is an undeniable truth that the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as the internet has made possible to connect with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
conveniently
.

Secondly
, it is evident that the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the medical field has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This is due to the fact that
by using modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on the healthcare system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have a healthy and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, recent studies by General Medical Council in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that after an MRI scan had
been installed
, the rate of diagnosis of cancer almost tripled compared to the previous year, and this
eventually
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an early treatment. As a consequence,
unsurprisingly
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of modern equipment in hospitals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better health facilities.

To conclude
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has tremendous benefit in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and had made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
far easier than our grandparent times. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet and better health facilities.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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