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Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform. What is your viewpoint on this? v.6

Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform. What is your viewpoint on this? v. 6
These days, a lot of profit and non-profit organisations provide and necessitate their workers to wear uniforms. Wearing a uniform at work has some benefits and drawbacks, but in my personal opinion, I think the advantages of wearing a work uniform outweighed the disadvantages. To begin with, some people think that when companies provide uniforms for their employees, it is a negative thing. From the employers' point view, providing some uniforms for their staffs will increase the companies' operational cost, especially industries that require a lot of labours. While from the employees' perspective, they feel that they do not have any choices or freedom in wearing clothes, which might impact on their self-confidences, especially women workers. On the other hand, many people do not realise that wearing a uniform in the workplace has some positive sides for both organisations and workers. Firstly, as wearing a uniform at the workplace became mandatory, it has saved clothing expenses of each individual worker, whereas employees who work in other companies that do not provide uniforms have to buy their own working apparels. Secondly, by providing uniforms for employees, it will not differentiate the economic class of each employee. As a result, the working environment will be more positive and conducive. Lastly, as employees are travelling or commuting around with their uniforms, they become free advertisements for their companies. In conclusion, it is true that many corporations and institutions are necessitating their employees to wear uniforms. It has some benefits and drawbacks for both companies and workers, but in my point of view, it has more positive points rather than the negatives one, and I would encourage more companies to provide uniforms for their staffs.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
profit and non-profit
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
and necessitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. Wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at work has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my personal opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages of wearing a work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
outweighed the disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thing. From the employers' point view, providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for their staffs will increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' operational cost,
especially
industries that require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
. While from the employees' perspective, they feel that they do not have any choices or freedom in wearing clothes, which might impact on their self-confidences,
especially
women workers.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
in the workplace has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides for both
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
Firstly
, as wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at the workplace became mandatory, it has saved clothing expenses of each individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who work in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
working apparels.
Secondly
, by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, it will not differentiate the economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
As a result
, the working environment will be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and conducive.
Lastly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are travelling or commuting around with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
, they become free advertisements for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

In conclusion
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corporations and institutions are necessitating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my point of view, it has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points
rather
than the negatives one, and I would encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
for their staffs.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays companies and other organisations are requiring their employees to wear a uniform. What is your viewpoint on this? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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