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Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v.1

Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v. 1
Admittedly, modern technology has caused so many changes in our lives. With its impact in our lives for the recent years, some believe that it has given us a complicated life and others refute this because they believe that it has made life easier for us. These points view will be discussed in this order. It is believed by some that new technology has made our lives too complicated because of the modern crimes we have heard these days. For instance, more electronic offences have being committed such as stalking and fraud offences. My elder brother, Fernando Meriales, who is a very busy engineer in Australia, is using an online bank because he thinks dealing his accounts online is way much easier than doing it traditionally to the bank. However, online money transactions have been committed by the fraud offenders using his bank account without his knowledge. In addition to this, social media crimes through the use of social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram also emerged. An example is the San Roque High school girl student; Jessel Mallari has been fooled by her 30-years-old lover in Facebook and was raped by this criminal and taken her life. Thus, it is clear why some people gravitate towards this point of view. On the other hand, many argue that modern technology has made our lives easier for the high-tech equipment and transportation facilities public people are using nowadays. For example, in the hospital where I am working, the Urdaneta Sacred Heart Hospital is using the Respiratory Ventilator for breathing support of our critically ill patients. Also, we do have a CT (Computed Topography) scan to diagnose easily those who have brain diseases. These two new technologies improve and prolong our patients' lives. Another example is the computer transportation system such as skyway and subway rail stations such in Singapore where through computers they can see who are the transport violators and ensures the public safety. After analysing these facts, it is clear why many people support this claim. In conclusion, for reasons related to e-crimes and social crimes as well as high-tech facilities in medical and transportation field, the issue of whether technology has made our lives too complex or easier is refuted and supported by many. However, after analysing these two points of view, it is clear that the argument that technology has given us a more convenient life can be supported and is expected to be realised.
Admittedly
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. With its impact in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for the recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
refute this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe that it has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for us. These points view will
be discussed
in this order.

It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
too complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the modern crimes we have heard these days.
For instance
, more electronic
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
have
being committed
such as stalking and fraud
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. My elder brother, Fernando
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meriales
, who is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy engineer in Australia, is using an online bank
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
dealing his accounts online is way much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than doing it
traditionally
to the bank.
However
, online money transactions have
been committed
by the fraud offenders using his bank account without his knowledge.
In addition
to this, social media crimes through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram
also
emerged. An example is the San
Possible spelling mistake found.
Roque
High school girl student;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jessel
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mallari
has
been fooled
by her 30-years-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
lover
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
and
was raped
by this criminal and taken her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gravitate towards this point of view.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
for the high-tech equipment and transportation facilities public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using nowadays.
For example
, in the hospital where I am working, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Urdaneta
Sacred Heart Hospital is using the Respiratory Ventilator for breathing support of our
critically
ill patients.
Also
, we do have a CT (Computed Topography) scan to diagnose
easily
those who have brain diseases. These two new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and prolong our patients'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Another example is the computer transportation system such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
skyway
and subway rail stations such in Singapore where through computers they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
who are the transport violators and ensures the public safety. After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
these facts, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support this claim.

In conclusion
, for reasons related to e-crimes and social crimes
as well
as high-tech facilities in medical and transportation field, the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
too complex or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
is refuted
and supported by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
However
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
these two points of view, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a more convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
be supported
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that technology has made our life too complex. However, other people think that it has made our life easier. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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