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Some people point that experiential learning (i. e. learning by doing it) can work well in formal education. However, others think a traditional form of teaching is the best. Do you think experiential learning can work well in high schools or colleges? v.1

Some people point that experiential learning (i. e. learning by doing it) can work well in formal education. However, others think a traditional form of teaching is the best. Do you think experiential learning can work well in high schools or colleges? v. 1
Although such topics, in all likelihood, never will yield a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on learning by doing experiments at high schools or college level can lead to thought-provoking discussions. My view is that irrespective of the numerous arguments that exist on either side, this concept is the best way to give a real life knowledge and to aim their career. There are a number of reasons in favour of my stance. To commence with, hands-on-experience gives a realistic idea on what is supposed to be learned from the theory. It is important to note that when a student experiments with a particular part of a theory, he is gaining knowledge on how exactly it works. For example, a student who does experimenting with electronic circuits understands the realistic values and its theoretical aspect. Therefore, the aforementioned discussion shows that the hands-on experience provides a better understanding of the theory. Similarly, another pivotal aspect of the argument is that experimenting gives opportunity to identify one's destiny, because it gives a clear understanding of the likes and dislikes of a student. Unless the students get a chance to determine the choice to make before he actually starts his career, it would be quite difficult to adjust with a profession that dislikes. For instance, an internship with journalism course is to taste the profession before it actually begins. In conclusion, this essay discussed the role of hands-on experience and its advantages to set one's destiny. However, the equally potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
Although such topics, in all likelihood,
The adverb 'never' is usually put between 'will' and 'yield'.
never will yield
a consensual agreement, a constructive dialogue on learning by doing experiments at high schools or college level can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-provoking discussions. My view is that irrespective of the numerous arguments that exist on either side, this concept is the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a real life knowledge and to aim their career.

There are a number of reasons in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance. To commence with, hands-on-experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a realistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on what
is supposed
to
be learned
from the theory. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
experiments with a particular part of a theory, he is gaining knowledge on how exactly it works.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "goes experimenting".
does experimenting
with electronic circuits understands the realistic values and its theoretical aspect.
Therefore
, the aforementioned discussion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the hands-on experience provides a better understanding of the theory.

Similarly
, another pivotal aspect of the argument is that experimenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
opportunity to identify one's destiny,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
understanding of the likes and dislikes of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. Unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to determine the choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
his career, it would be quite difficult to adjust with a profession that dislikes.
For instance
, an internship with journalism course is to taste the profession
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the role of hands-on experience and its advantages to set one's destiny.
However
, the
equally
potential evidence to support the arguments I have provided, underlines my opinion.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people point that experiential learning (i. e. learning by doing it) can work well in formal education. However, others think a traditional form of teaching is the best. Do you think experiential learning can work well in high schools or colleges? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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