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Some people think that teach people should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place of learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that teach people should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place of learn this. v. 2
Numerous people perceive that teaching the youngster how to be an ideal member of society is mainly parent responsibility, but others argue that the educational institution is the place where the children should be educated about it. This essay will address basic social skills as family responsibility to educate young people and a mandatory subject in the school as part of the school responsible owing to how to be a good member of the community. Family is the first school for the child. this means that the youngster learns the basic knowledge for a living is from a family member. Parents have the responsibility to train their children regarding social insight requiring for the living in the community. Attitude and good behavior, for instance, supposed to be taught in the family rather than in the school. Because, if this knowledge is educated in school, that would be late as a youngster starts to attend school mostly at 6 years old, whereas social knowledge should be accustomed since the children in the early age. On the other hand, school is responsible to train children how to be a better member of society due to the fact that the main purpose of the school is to educate people. Every level of school in Indonesia, for example, has an attitude subject which is a mandatory subject. The student is educated on how to be a better person, how to speak politely and how to interact with the people who are younger, have similar age and to the older people. Moreover, school is believed as an ideal place to train children about this subject because most of the children spent more time in school rather than at home. Consequently, the teachers have sufficient time to train the children compare to the parents. To conclude, I believe that both parent and school have similar responsibility in term of teaching the young people how to become a well-mannered in the community, but the parent should start educating the young people about manner since an early age.
Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that teaching the youngster how to be an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of society is
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others argue that the educational institution is the place where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be educated
about it. This essay will address basic social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to educate young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
responsible owing to how to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the community.

Family is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the child.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
means that the youngster learns the basic knowledge for a living is from a family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
regarding social insight requiring for the living in the community. Attitude and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior,
for instance
, supposed to
be taught
in the family
rather
than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, if this knowledge
is educated
in
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school
, that would be late as a youngster
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to attend
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school
mostly
at 6 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, whereas social knowledge should be
Did you mean: "accustomed to"?
accustomed since
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the early age.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of society due to the fact that the main purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Every level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Indonesia,
for example
, has an attitude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which is a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. The student
is educated
on how to be a better person, how to speak
politely
and how to interact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are younger, have similar age and to the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is believed
as an ideal place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent more time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than at home.
Consequently
, the teachers have sufficient time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
compare to the parents.

To conclude
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
in term of teaching the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to become a well-mannered in the community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
educating the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about manner since an early age.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that teach people should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place of learn this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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