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Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v.1

Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v. 1
Many people believe that the responsibility of a child to learn good manners come from the home, one's own parents; however, there are others who think that it should be done in schools. I believe that the father and the mother are the one to teach their child to be responsible members of the society. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides and assert my view. To be a good citizen of a country, the learning should be started at home; a place where elders, parents and people who have a better understanding of the society live together. The parents can teach children from the early days of their life, how to respect elders, they can do this by showing examples. For instance, when a grandparent or any elder of the family comes to visit, the father and the mother should always speak politely and with respect, by seeing this the kid would understand that always respect elders and talk politely to them. Hence, these small demonstration will always leave a foot-print in a young ones mind. Whereas, many others argue that a school should make someone to learn, how to become a good person. It can teach its students the good manners, social responsibilities in its curriculum. For example, there are subjects like moral science in some primary schools. Pupils learn these subjects for getting marks and the authorities are unaware if the pupils are following these things learnt from the books, in their daily life. To put it in a nutshell, for being a good individual in a society, the foundation of a youngster should be laid by the parents. The teachers can teach the students, the good manners, but the parents are the one to show them by being an example themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the responsibility of a child to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the home, one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
;
however
, there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it should
be done
in schools. I believe that the father and the mother are the one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their child to be responsible members of the society. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides and assert my view.

To be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizen of a country, the learning should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at home; a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have a better understanding of the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
children from the early days of their life, how to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
, they can do this by showing examples.
For instance
, when a grandparent or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
of the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to visit, the father and the mother should always speak
politely
and with respect, by seeing this the kid would understand that always respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
and talk
politely
to them.
Hence
, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
demonstration will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a foot-print in a young ones mind.

Whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others argue that a school should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
someone to learn, how to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
person. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
its students the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners, social responsibilities in its curriculum.
For example
, there are subjects like moral science in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary schools. Pupils learn these subjects for getting marks and the authorities are unaware if the pupils are following these things
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the books, in their daily life.

To put it in a nutshell, for being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
individual in a society, the foundation of a youngster should
be laid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The teachers can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the students, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them by being an example themselves.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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