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Some people think that success is the best measure for inteligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people think that success is the best measure for inteligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion? v. 1
It is argued by some that intelligence should be measured by the achieved success. Personally, I agree with those who believe that there are other ways to assess intelligence. With regards to relation between success and intelligence, it seems that the latter is a pomponent of the former, moreover not the necessary one. For instance, unless a doctor is intelligent, they will not be able to pursue a successful medical career. However, they also need find a supportive mentor in order to develop their full potential. On the other hand, to become a top singer, musical talent and good voice are essential rather than the intelligence. Hence, success cannot be used to measure how bright a person is. This raises the question how can the intelligence be assessed? The most widespread method is the IQ test. Even though is only gives a measure of logical thinking, when combined with other assessments such as emotional intelligence test, relatively full picture of how mentaly able an individual is might be seen. Another possibility could be a development of complex professional assessment including various tasks, such as math problems, logical reasoning questions and interviews conducted by trained psychologists. Those approaches seem to be more appropriate in measuring the intelligence compared with looking at the success only. In conclusion, despite the claims that the success is the most accurate measure of someone’s intelligence, I illustrated with examples that it is not necessarily true. I hold a strong opinion that other methods to assess mental abilities should be validates and applied on a large scale.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
should
be measured
by the achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to assess intelligence.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
relation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
, it seems that the latter is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pomponent
of the former,
moreover
not the necessary one.
For instance
, unless a doctor is intelligent, they will not be able to pursue a successful medical career.
However
, they
also
need find a supportive mentor in order to develop their full potential. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, to become a top singer, musical talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
voice are essential
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to measure how bright a person is.

This raises
This sounds awkward in English. The standard is "the question of how".
the question how
can the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
be assessed
? The most widespread method is the IQ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
Even though
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives a measure of logical thinking, when combined with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
assessments such as emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
,
relatively
full picture of how
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentaly
able an individual is might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
Another possibility
could be a development of complex professional assessment including various tasks, such as math problems, logical reasoning questions and interviews conducted by trained psychologists. Those approaches seem to be more appropriate in measuring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
compared with looking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

In conclusion
, despite the claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is the most accurate measure of someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
, I illustrated with examples that it is not
necessarily
true. I hold a strong opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods to assess mental abilities should be
Consider using the past participle "validated"?
validates
and applied on a large scale.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that success is the best measure for inteligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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