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Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other thinks that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.2

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other thinks that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 2
Some would argue that, it is good to make new friends through social networking sites. While others say one-on-one interaction is very much important. Although, social media platform is meant to connect people beyond countries. However, I believe personal meeting creates a magic in becoming genuine friendships. On the one hand, these day people spend most of their time on the internet to work or study. So it is a kind of relief to make new friends through this online platform. One of the fascinating things about these platforms getting to know other countries cultures. For example, through the Facebook social site, many people meet from all over the world. Getting to know each others and their cultures. But, I believe meeting someone personally get to know very well. On the other hand, true friends know about their feeling and it can happen only through personal meet and having a good conversation. By meeting and talking to someone we come to know about people’s aura negative, positive and genuinity. For instance, Indian actor Salman khan applied online for a movie role to a production company and he got rejected. But, when he met producer personally, then Producer Company came to know about the real talent and the hunger for doing work. To conclude, I think true friendship is only possible through geniun face to face conversation, instead of virtual friendship. Because personal meeting gives an ultimate attachment towards another person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
social networking sites.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others say one-on-one interaction is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, social media platform
is meant
to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
beyond countries.
However
, I believe personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
creates a magic in becoming genuine friendships.

On the one hand, these day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time on the internet to work or study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is a kind of relief to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
this online platform. One of the fascinating things about these platforms getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries cultures.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the Facebook social site,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
from all over the world. Getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
and their cultures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
someone
personally
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, true friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about their feeling and it can happen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conversation. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
and talking to someone we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
aura
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
genuinity
.
For instance
, Indian actor Salman khan applied online for a movie role to a production
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rejected.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, when he met producer
personally
, then Producer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the real talent and the hunger for doing work.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
true friendship is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
geniun
face to face conversation,
instead
of virtual friendship.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
gives an ultimate attachment towards another person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other thinks that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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