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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 1
Nowadays many people watch movies on their mobiles and iPads, so they do not have to go to the theater anymore. However, certain people watch movies in the theater because they believe this is more enjoyable than anywhere else. I agree with people who say that watching movies in their mobiles is more fun than in the theater. In my opinion, many people are busy all the time which means it is difficult to watch films with friends in the cinema. If we use our phones or iPads, we can watch films together. In addition, people pay a cheap price for a movie channel such as Netflix rather than buy a ticket. They do not need to worry about walking to their seat in the dark when they are late for a movie. They can just watch it when they are free. For example, you are able to watch a love story movie with your partner when the children are asleep. People also can watch classic old movies any time and any where which are not in the cinema. On the other hand, people who watch movies in the cinema think it is more enjoyable, because there is a large amount of professional equipment such such as a large screen and high quality sound system. This is why some people still want to go to the cinema. Moreover, some 3D and 4D movies are only on at the cinemas. People do not have those facilities at home or on their mobiles. It is also a good family activity, so the children will be very happy if their parents take them to the cinema. In conclusion, people use different ways to watch and enjoy movies. I still enjoy watching movies on my mobile. In my opinion, the advantages of watching movies at home outweigh the advantages of going to the cinema.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their mobiles and iPads,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the theater anymore.
However
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the theater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe this is more enjoyable than anywhere else. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who say that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in their mobiles is more fun than in the theater.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy all the time which means it is difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films with friends in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our phones or iPads, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films together.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
channel such as Netflix
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a ticket. They do not need to worry about walking to their seat in the dark when they are late for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. They can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it when they are free.
For example
, you are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
with your partner when the children are asleep.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
classic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
any time and
Did you mean "anywhere"?
any where
which are not in the cinema.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more enjoyable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a large amount of professional equipment
Possible typo: you repeated a word
such such
as a large screen and high quality sound system. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
want to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
3D and 4D
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not have those facilities at home or on their mobiles. It is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
family activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the children will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy if their parents take them to the cinema.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
and enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. I
still
enjoy watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on my mobile. In my opinion, the advantages of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home outweigh the advantages of going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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