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Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 1
With the invention of the internet and world wide web, come the new spaces for people to socialise such as social networks and chatrooms. Some people believe that these technologies allow them to befriend more people. The other argue that relationships should be established via real world interaction. Many within the general public feel that using cyberspaces to meet new people as the internet is beneficial as it eliminates physical barriers between them. For example, when a distance has not been an issue, people across the globe can communicate with others who live in other countries or even the other side of the world. Talking with new friends via social networks or chatroom also costs so little time which instead would be required for travelling and socialisation, making it suits a modern lifestyle which people are usually confined in their workplace more. Therefore, people will have more opportunity to find a new friendship free from distances. Others insist on the importance of physical interaction in establishing a new relationship as they believe it can be more truthful than other forms of communication. There are many parts of body language which cannot be detected from online conservation such as eye contact, gesture, and facial expression. Additionally, because of the presence of these additional social cues, meeting in person makes deception or hiding true intention more difficult. As a result, people can trust the others whom they meet in real world than whom they could not see their face. In conclusion, it is clear that there are benefits and drawbacks from both making friends online and offline. However, in my view, a truthful relationship that can be gain from real world socialisation is more significant.
With the invention of the internet and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
spaces for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
such as social networks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
chatrooms
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that these technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to befriend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
argue that relationships should
be established
via real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
interaction.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
within the
Consider using "public".
general public
feel that using cyberspaces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as the internet is beneficial as it eliminates physical barriers between them.
For example
, when a distance has not been an issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe can communicate with others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries or even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. Talking with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends via social networks or chatroom
also
costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time which
instead
would
be required
for travelling and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
, making it suits a modern lifestyle which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
confined in their workplace more.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more opportunity to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friendship free from distances.

Others insist on the importance of physical interaction in establishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
relationship as they believe it can be more truthful than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of communication. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of body language which cannot
be detected
from online conservation such as eye contact, gesture, and facial expression.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the presence of these additional social cues, meeting in person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
deception or hiding true intention more difficult.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can trust the others whom they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
in real
Use "(world)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
world
than whom they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their face.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are benefits and drawbacks from both making friends online and offline.
However
, in my view, a truthful relationship that can be gain from real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
is more significant.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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