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Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.9

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. v. 9
It is apparent that history is believed to have an imperative role in the 21st century; thus, several people are in favor of learning history, whilst remaining ones consider it to be a wastage of time. According to my perspective, history is necessary for people, and further, both viewpoints are yet to be analyzed in the subsequent paragraphs. The importance of history needs to be considered, which seems to be effective for mankind in certain ways. The first and foremost is understanding of cultural rituals and traditional things as history contains useful information that is lucrative for the modern people, whereby they come to know about the living style of how the people lived in the past. Moreover, it becomes easy to know about the contribution of forefathers in terms of the development of the country, thereby facing many problems in their life with the full of sacrifice. Although studying history is said to be worthwhile. Having said that the negative of this and the benefits of other things cannot be overlooked. Firstly, learning about technology has tremendous importance because in this modern world technology is very valuable to perform any kind of task instead of history; therefore, it is a must for the development of present as well as future period. Secondly, the dates, names, and other concepts that are related to ancient times, very complicated to remember for a long time, and these are also not compulsory in the daily routine. In conclusion, given the significance of history, it can never be termed negative, and hence, the learners should have similar attention towards history subject the same as others.
It is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is believed
to have an imperative role in the 21st century;
thus
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in favor of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, whilst remaining ones consider it to be a wastage of time. According to my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and
further
, both viewpoints are
yet
to
be analyzed
in the subsequent paragraphs.

The importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
needs to
be considered
, which seems to be effective for mankind in certain ways. The
first
and foremost
The verb 'understanding' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is understanding
of cultural rituals and traditional things as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
contains useful information
that is
lucrative for the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereby they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the living style of how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the past.
Moreover
, it becomes easy to know about the contribution of forefathers in terms of the development of the country, thereby facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in their life with the full of sacrifice.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is said
to be worthwhile. Having said that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of this and the benefits of other things cannot
be overlooked
.
Firstly
, learning about technology has tremendous importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this modern world technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable to perform any kind of task
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
;
therefore
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for the development of present
as well
as future period.
Secondly
, the dates, names, and other concepts that
are related
to ancient times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated to remember for a long time, and these are
also
not compulsory in the daily routine.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, it can never
be termed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, and
hence
, the learners should have similar attention towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
subject the same as others.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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