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Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. v. 4
History is something that reflects the heritage and actions of the past. While many people think it is not required to learn bygone past i'm of the opposite view, as I believe acquiring the knowledge about what has happened previously back in those ages is highly important for an individual in order to accomplish something they deeply desire in life and career Firstly supporters of the idea put forth that unlike technical and STEM subjects history doesn't help students to build a successful career as a result of this people gradually stopped showing interest in studying subjects like history, geography, languages etc secondly less people seem to chose history as a profession in addition to this they are undoubtedly being paid less when compared to people of other of carrier's thirdly people see it as a boring subject lastly I was never valued too for example in a survey of New York institute of technology it has been proven that 69% of students these days, particularly, either are preferring to take mathematics or science as their stem courses But on the other side the question " is history really that important? ? " Displeases me, as I personally feel it is definitely very essential for a student to acquire knowledge about what has happened in the ancient times, it can be about the kings who ruled earlier as well as the wars and not to mention about our culture and customs or the traditions, together with geography including flora and fauna. Learning about these elements not only helps a student to build the moral and ethical qualities from a very young age but also reinforces good personality traits. For instance, during excavating the great Mohenjo-Daro culture in India, archaeologists and Anthropologists were totally astonished after observing the techniques that were used back in those days to construct waterways and strong shelters made of brick and mud which in turn helped them put into use those techniques in the prevailing situations. In conclusion, no matter how much the world progresses, i feel it indeed is important for a person to know the value of history by including this as a study subject among the academic subjects by the government.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is something that reflects the heritage and actions of the past. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not required to learn bygone past
Did you mean "I'm"?
i'm
of the opposite view, as I believe acquiring the knowledge about what has happened previously back in those ages is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for an individual in order to accomplish something they
deeply
desire in life and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
career


Firstly
supporters of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
put forth that unlike technical and STEM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to build a successful career
as a result
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
showing interest in studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, geography, languages etc
secondly
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
as a profession
in addition
to this they are
undoubtedly
being paid
less when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of other of carrier's
thirdly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as a boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
lastly
I was never valued too
for example
in a survey of New York institute of technology it has
been proven
that 69% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
these days,
particularly
, either
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to take mathematics or science as their stem courses

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other side the question
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
really
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
? ?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Displeases me, as I
personally
feel it is definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to acquire knowledge about what has happened in the ancient times, it can be about the kings who ruled earlier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
well as the wars and not to
Did you mean simply "mention our"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mention about our
culture and customs or the traditions, together with geography including flora and fauna. Learning about these elements not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to build the moral and ethical qualities from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
reinforces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality traits.
For instance
, during excavating the great
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mohenjo-Daro
culture in India, archaeologists and Anthropologists were
totally
astonished after observing the techniques that were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
back in those days to construct waterways and strong shelters made of brick and mud which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them put into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those techniques in the prevailing situations.

In conclusion
, no matter how much the world progresses,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel it
indeed
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a person to know the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
by including this as a study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
among the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that studying history is a waste of time while others think it is essential to learn history. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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