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Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion? v.2

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion? v. 2
The protection of wildlife has become a frequent subject of debate with strong arguments for and against. Personally, I believe that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too many resources to this issue, as will now be explained. Firstly, if we allow any species to disappear, this is actually not a disaster. Some people may argue that the biology will be seriously affected if birds and wild animals are on the verge of extinction, but this is an exaggeration. Fossil evidence suggests that the mass disappearance of the dinosaur did not cause any harm to other species on the Earth but merely triggered the emergence of others such as the mammal. Therefore, we should not devote too much attention to the protection of wildlife. Secondly, public money is limited. This means that the national budget should be allocated to more urgent issues rather than expending too much in the conservation of wild animals and birds. For example, more resources should be diverted to medical research to find out remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may help to save thousands of lives in society. Finally, the government can simply protect wildlife by continuing campaigns to raise public awareness of the protection of wildlife habitats, or impose stricter punishments on activities that may harm wild animals. Any individual who hunts wildlife for food or for pleasure should be given a heavy fine, and this may discourage them from threatening the life of wild animals. In conclusion, while I do not refute the argument for the conservation of wildlife, I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.
The protection of
wildlife
has become a frequent subject of debate with strong arguments for and against.
Personally
, I believe that humans are paying too much attention and allocating too
many
resources to this issue, as will
now
be
explained
.

Firstly
, if we
allow
any species to disappear, this is actually not a disaster.
Some
people
may argue that the biology will be
seriously
affected
if birds and wild animals are on the verge of extinction,
but
this is an exaggeration. Fossil evidence suggests that the mass disappearance of the dinosaur did not cause any harm to other species on the Earth
but
merely
triggered the emergence of others such as the mammal.
Therefore
, we should not devote too much attention to the protection of wildlife.

Secondly
, public money
is limited
. This means that the national budget should
be allocated
to more urgent issues
rather
than expending too much in the conservation of wild animals and birds.
For example
, more resources should
be diverted
to medical research to find out remedies for fatal diseases such as HIV and cancer, which may
help
to save thousands of
lives
in society.

Finally
, the
government
can
simply
protect
wildlife
by continuing campaigns to raise public awareness of the protection of
wildlife
habitats, or impose stricter punishments on activities that may harm wild animals. Any individual who hunts
wildlife
for food or for pleasure should be
given
a heavy fine, and this may discourage them from threatening the life of wild animals.

In conclusion
, while I do not refute the argument for the conservation of
wildlife
, I believe that it should attract less attention and fewer resources from the public.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. about this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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