Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, mamy people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v.1

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, mamy people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
There is an alarming growth in the field of agriculture day by day. However, several people around the world are still facing the problem of starvation. This essay will highlights the causes and possible solutions to address this issue. To commence with, the primary reason of being hungry is the rapidly growing populations in all over the world. The number of people is increasing day by day, but at the same time, food production remains same which can cause starvation. Secondly, Many people do not get food especially in the rural areas due to lack of transportation facilities and poor condition of road. For instance, in 2015, Nepal faced an earthquake which damaged several buildings, property and lives of citizens. During that time, people had encountered from shortage of food because vehicles were unable to transport food to all parts of nepal. Thirdly, the wastage of food and rise of food prices are also caused food scarcity. On the other hand, in order to resolve the starvation, governments should conduct awareness programs regrading family planning methods. Likewise, roads should be constructed and transportation amenities should be provided to every nations. Moreover, wastage of food in restaurants and hostels should be managed properly as extra food shoud be distributed to destitute. In addition, agriculture system is increasing in advanced way with the help of latest technologies. Therefore, goods and other crops which are harvested in own country should be transported to other parts of the country. It assists to mitigate the prices of food so that people can easily afford food in a very low rate. In conclusion, despite of the advancement in agriculture, people are rump suffering from food scarcity due to various reasons. Hence, governments should devote necessary information to public, food should not be wasted and reduce the high price on food in order to solve the problem of being hungry.
There is an alarming growth in the field of agriculture day by day.
However
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are
still
facing the problem of starvation. This essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "highlight"
highlights
the causes and possible solutions to address this issue.

To commence with, the primary reason of being hungry is the
rapidly
growing populations in all over the world. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increasing day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production remains same which can cause starvation.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
especially
in the rural areas due to lack of transportation facilities and poor condition of road.
For instance
, in 2015, Nepal faced an earthquake which damaged several buildings, property and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of citizens. During that time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had encountered from shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
vehicles were unable to transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to all parts of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nepal
.
Thirdly
, the wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and rise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices are
also
caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity.

On the other hand
, in order to resolve the starvation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should conduct awareness programs regrading family planning methods.
Likewise
, roads should
be constructed
and transportation amenities should
be provided
to every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "nation"?
nations
.
Moreover
, wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurants and hostels should
be managed
properly
as extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoud
be distributed
to destitute.
In addition
, agriculture system is increasing in advanced way with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and other crops which
are harvested
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country should
be transported
to other parts of the country. It assists to mitigate the prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low rate.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the advancement in agriculture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are rump suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
scarcity due to various reasons.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should devote necessary information to public,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should not
be wasted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the high price on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to solve the problem of being hungry.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay In spite of the advances made in agriculture, mamy people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts