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Some people think that studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. v. 2
The present is existed because there is a history. From the past mistakes, we can evolve ourselves and society by acknowledging of past mistakes. However, due to the fast pace of society and a massive information, knowing of historical events seem too much burden. In this essay will discuss both aspects on histories before reaching a reasonable conclusion. We are currently residing in an information society. The amount of information and knowledge we are gathering a day is 100, 000 times more than that of in 19th century. Because people are busy catching up with the current news and events, they would easily get lost track of the past events and as a result of this, the past information becomes irrelevant. Therefore, historical information is too much to follow on top of current news and it seems no benefits to current lifestyles. However, people have developed society from the past mistakes or past events. For example, Edison failed more than 10, 000 times to make a light bulb before he made a huge scientific breakthrough. This would be the same for other inventions and which helped to level off the standard of living. Nowadays, all the diversity of fields such as legislation, military, economy, science and philosophy are the results of the past mistakes. As a result of this, the recognition of the historical events is vital because it has a direct correlation between the present consequences. In my opinion, while I understand that there is too much information to gather as we are currently living in an Information Age era, historical events is vital because the potential prevention can occur. For example, economy downturn occurs every 9 years and which can be prepared for the next economy depression. Since lifestyles are repetitive and periodic and as a result of this, knowing of historical events can be helpful to our lifestyles because we can prepare before any events occur. In conclusion, even though there is humongous information is updated frequently and at a rapid rate, which creates the difficulty for people to adapt the past events, it is still important resource for today’s life. Thus, the past information is the foundation and can help to make today’s decision.
The present
is existed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a history. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
, we can evolve ourselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by acknowledging of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
.
However
, due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, knowing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
seem too much burden. In this essay will discuss both aspects on histories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

We are
currently
residing in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and knowledge we are gathering a day is 100, 000 times more than that of in 19th century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are busy catching up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
news and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, they would
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
becomes irrelevant.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is too much to
'follow on' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "follow-on".
follow on
top of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
news and it seems no benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyles.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
For example
, Edison failed more than 10, 000 times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a light bulb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he made a huge scientific breakthrough. This would be the same for other inventions and which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to level off the standard of living. Nowadays, all the diversity of fields such as legislation, military, economy, science and philosophy are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this, the recognition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a direct correlation between the present consequences.

In my opinion, while I understand that there is too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to gather as we are
currently
living in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
Age era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the potential prevention can occur.
For example
, economy downturn occurs every 9 years and which can
be prepared
for the
next
economy depression. Since lifestyles are repetitive and periodic and as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of this, knowing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can be helpful to our lifestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can prepare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
occur.

In conclusion
,
even though
there is humongous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is updated
frequently
and at a rapid rate, which creates the difficulty for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to adapt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, it is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
resource for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is the foundation and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s decision.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that studying from the past offers no benefits to today’s life while others believe that history is a valuable source of information for us. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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