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Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. v. 1
The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the most important language in the world. It is thought by some people that English may overtake other languages and become the only one would certainly help understanding and economic growth but there will be drawbacks. One evident benefit to having a single global lingua is that people would be able to communicate with other cultures. In other words, if everyone will speak a single language, There would be connectivity between countries as well as people throughout the world. This would promote learning and better influx of information and ideas. Another major advantage is that it would promote economic growth of every nation. There will be less barriers and trade would flourish between countries. On the other hand, there are obvious disadvantages to having one language. Particularly, it would mean that different cultures and dialects would disappear. The diversity of culture is one of the joys this world has to offer and each culture has its own unique identity. But these would be lost if there is just a singular language worldwide. Furthermore, this will also result in the collapse of tourism because there would be no reason to travel for pleasure and interest if all nations had the same language and similar culture. This will destroy the countries that rely on tourism. To conclude, while there are plus points of having a solo dialect there would be various disadvantages associated with the same. Maintaining local languages and cultures should be prioritised to ensure a rich cultural heritage for future generations.
The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the world. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that English may overtake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one would
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to understand" or "understand".
understanding
and economic growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will be drawbacks.

One evident benefit to having a single global
Possible spelling mistake found.
lingua
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if everyone will speak a single language,

There would be connectivity between countries
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout the world. This would promote learning and better influx of information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Another major advantage is that it would promote economic growth of every nation. There will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun barriers is countable.
less
barriers and trade would flourish between countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are obvious disadvantages to having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
Particularly
, it would mean that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and dialects would disappear. The diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is one of the joys this world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique identity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these would
be lost
if there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a singular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
worldwide.
Furthermore
, this will
also
result in the collapse of tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there would be no reason to travel for pleasure and interest if all nations had the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the countries that rely on tourism.

To conclude
, while there are plus points of having a solo dialect there would be various disadvantages associated with the same. Maintaining local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
to ensure a rich cultural heritage for future generations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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