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Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development? v.1

Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1
TECHNOLOGY HAS BEEN RAPIDLY ENHANCING THE DEFFERENT METHODS FOR PEOPLE TO COMMUNIVATE WITHING THE WORLD. THIS REVOLUTION HAS, MADE MUCH MORE EASIER FOR EVERYONE TO REACH OUT A LOVED ONE WHO STAYS AWAY FROM THEM. FIRSTLY, THIS ESAY WILL DISCUSS HOW THIS INOVATION HAS AFFECTED THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP PEOPLE MAKE MOWADAYS. SECONDLY, WHY THIS REVOLUTION IN TELECOMMUNICATION CONSIDER AS DETRIMENTAL OUTCOME. ON THE ONE HAND, YOUGHS ARE MAKING SHORT TERM AND PRIMARY RELATION WITH OTHERS. THIS IS BECAUSE THEY ARE AWARE OF THAT IT IS EASY TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS THAN BEFORE. AS THE AVAILABILITY OF THE VARIOUS SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES, SUCH AS FACEBOOK, WHAT'S APP, SNAP CHAT AND SO ON. IN ADDITION TO THIS, ALSO THE VALUES AND RESPECTS FOR APRENTS AND ELDERS DECREASED SINCE THE TECHNOLOGY ARRIVED. FOR AN EXAMPLE, THE DEPARTMENT OF TELECOMMUNICATION OF THE INDIA DID A SURVEY IN 2000, WHCIH DEPICTED THAT 70% OF INDIVIDUALS ARE END UP BREAKING RELATION WITH THIER PARTNER BECAUSE OF THE LACK OF TIME FOR FAMILY. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE DEVELOPMENT OF TECH BECOMING NEGATIVE REVOLUTION DUE TO IT'S DEVASTATING EEFECTS ON RELATIONSHIPS. THE MAJOR PESSIMISTIC IMPACT IS THAT IT HAS MADE PEOPLE APART IN ONE'S PRIVATE LIFE. BECAUSE, THEY ARE BEING MORE BONDED WITH DEVISES THAN PEOPL AROUND. CONSEQUENTLY, THEY END UP WITH BREAKING UP AND FIND FOR ANOTHER PARTNER. FOR INSTANCE, ONE OF MY FRIEND SHE BREKEN UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE WAS NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME WITH HER AND ALWYS BUSY ON CELLPHONE. AS A RESULT, THIS IS HOW TECHNOLOGY AFFECTS A PEROPLE PERSONAL LIVES. HOWEVER, IT ALSO PROVEN TO BE A POSITIVE OUTCOME FOR BUSINESSMEN AS IT IS ALLOW THEM TO EXPAND THEIR BUSINESS WORDWIDE. IN CONCLUSION, THE TECHNOLOGY INDEED ASSIST AND INDIVIDUALS AS WELL AS SOCIETY AND GOVERNMENT IN VARIOUS DAILY TASKS. BUT I THINK EVERYTHING IT SHOULD NOT BE IN THE COST OF LOSING MORALS AND ANCIENT VALUES.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
HAS BEEN
RAPIDLY
ENHANCING THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEFFERENT
METHODS FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
COMMUNIVATE
WITHING THE WORLD. THIS REVOLUTION HAS, MADE MUCH
Use only "EASIER" (without 'MORE') when you use the comparative.
MORE EASIER
FOR EVERYONE TO REACH OUT A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LOVED
ONE WHO STAYS AWAY FROM THEM.
FIRSTLY
, THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
ESAY
WILL DISCUSS HOW THIS
Possible spelling mistake found.
INOVATION
HAS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AFFECTED
THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
Possible spelling mistake found.
MOWADAYS
.
SECONDLY
, WHY THIS REVOLUTION IN TELECOMMUNICATION CONSIDER AS DETRIMENTAL OUTCOME.

ON THE ONE HAND,
Possible spelling mistake found.
YOUGHS
ARE MAKING SHORT TERM AND PRIMARY RELATION WITH OTHERS. THIS IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
THEY ARE AWARE OF THAT IT IS EASY TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
NEW FRIENDS THAN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
. AS THE AVAILABILITY OF THE VARIOUS SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES, SUCH AS FACEBOOK, WHAT'S APP, SNAP CHAT AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
ON.
IN ADDITION
TO THIS,
ALSO
THE VALUES AND RESPECTS FOR
Possible spelling mistake found.
APRENTS
AND ELDERS DECREASED SINCE THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
ARRIVED. FOR AN EXAMPLE, THE DEPARTMENT OF TELECOMMUNICATION OF THE INDIA DID A SURVEY IN 2000,
Possible spelling mistake found.
WHCIH
DEPICTED THAT 70% OF INDIVIDUALS ARE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
UP BREAKING RELATION WITH
Possible spelling mistake found.
THIER
PARTNER
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
OF THE LACK OF TIME FOR FAMILY.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, THE DEVELOPMENT OF TECH BECOMING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
NEGATIVE
REVOLUTION DUE TO
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun)?
IT'S
DEVASTATING
Possible spelling mistake found.
EEFECTS
ON RELATIONSHIPS. THE MAJOR PESSIMISTIC IMPACT IS THAT IT HAS MADE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
APART IN ONE'S PRIVATE LIFE.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, THEY ARE BEING MORE BONDED WITH DEVISES THAN
Possible spelling mistake found.
PEOPL
AROUND.
CONSEQUENTLY
, THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
UP WITH BREAKING UP AND FIND FOR ANOTHER PARTNER.
FOR INSTANCE
, ONE OF MY FRIEND SHE
Possible spelling mistake found.
BREKEN
UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
HE WAS NOT SPENDING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
TIME WITH HER AND
Possible spelling mistake found.
ALWYS
BUSY ON CELLPHONE.
AS A RESULT
, THIS IS HOW
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
AFFECTS A
Possible spelling mistake found.
PEROPLE
PERSONAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
.
HOWEVER
,
It seems that a verb is missing.
IT
ALSO
PROVEN TO BE A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
OUTCOME FOR BUSINESSMEN AS IT IS
Consider using a past participle here: "allowed".
ALLOW
THEM TO EXPAND THEIR BUSINESS
Possible spelling mistake found.
WORDWIDE
.

IN CONCLUSION
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
INDEED
ASSIST AND INDIVIDUALS
AS WELL
AS SOCIETY AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOVERNMENT
IN VARIOUS DAILY TASKS.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
EVERYTHING IT SHOULD NOT BE IN THE COST OF LOSING MORALS AND ANCIENT VALUES.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Nowadays the way many people interact why each other has changed because of technology In what ways has technology affected the types of relation ship people make Has this become a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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