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Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. v. 2
The argument over whether study is important to achieved success or there is no relationship between study and success in not yet settle. Although, many people are claiming that study in not important to achieved success. Whereas, study offers better good job opportunity, career advancement, good quality lifestyle and better decision making. Ultimately, I think that study is important to achieved success. I will explain why in this essay with pertinent argument and examples. There are myriad of argument in favor of my stance. The most conspicuous one is that it offers good paying jobs such as chief executive officer. Another, pivotal aspect of my stance is that it offers quality friends and good social life. For instance can a man become chief executive officers without having circular education? No. On the other hand, not studying will prevent you from unnecessary study at night, not stressing about school fees and studying under pressure. Knowing that pressure can cause emotional, physical and mental imbalance in student. In view of the aforementioned argument outlined above good education can lead to success. Parent should do there best to send their children to school because the success associated with study cannot be ignored. Nevertheless, the impact of study load that can lead to poor quality of life should not be overlooked as well.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
or there is no relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in not
yet
settle.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are claiming that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
offers better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job opportunity, career advancement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
quality lifestyle and better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
Ultimately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay with pertinent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
and examples.

There are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
in favor of my stance. The most conspicuous one is that it offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
paying jobs such as chief executive officer. Another, pivotal aspect of my stance is that it offers quality friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
social life.
For instance
can a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
become chief executive officers without having circular education? No.

On the other hand
, not studying will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
you from unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at night, not stressing about school fees and studying under pressure. Knowing that pressure can cause emotional, physical and mental imbalance in student.

In view of the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
outlined above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
education can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Parent should do there best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Nevertheless
, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
load that can lead to poor quality of life should not
be overlooked
as well
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that study is important to get success, others say that there is no relation between study and success. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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