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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v.17

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 17
Nowadays, the accidents that occur on the road are likely to rise in number in some countries. While an army of people think that these issues can be tackled by penalising offenders strictly, others think that there are other steps that can be taken to cope with it. It is clear that the strict punishments set up for the driving offences can make them fear to break the laws. For instance, if they are proven to disobey the applied rules, it is seemly a good way to punish them by taking their driving licenses forcefully.   This measure is likely to alert them to think twice before breaking the laws because if they commit it they cannot drive anymore. This way can indirectly encourage them to obey the rules hence the accidents on the road are likely to be declined. The traffic rules are applicable only for the drivers, but also for the ordinary commuters as well. While an over-bridge or an under pathway is mandatory for crossing the busy roads, many people do not obey this rules. It is not unusual that many careless drivers do not follow the traffic signals and all these violations of traffic rules cause severe accidents and congestion in many cities. Hence, implementing strict punishment and fine can be one effective solution to tackle this issue. On the other hand, many believe that other measures could be more successful to address this problem, including creating awareness among citizens to drive safely, organising seminars & training programmes about the importance of road safety and modernising the traffic control system. The research carried out by Statistics Center, an organisation at the University of Diponegoro, reveals that citizens in Semarang who have wide knowledge about how to drive safely tend to obey the applied rules if compared to the ones who does not have this knowledge. This makes clear that these measures can be utilised to create a consciousness to be safe riders. Apart from that, the number of cars and buses on the roads in many cities is much higher and restricting the private car ownership can reduce the number of cars on the roads and thus the number of accidents or casualties. Improving the traffic system with modern equipment and enrolling more trained and professional traffic police could be another great way to tackle this issue. To conclude, the establishment of punishment strictly is a wise idea but by presenting workshops and training programmes to all citizens, especially drivers of different vehicles, improving the traffic control system are the finest ways to encourage them to increase security on the way.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that occur on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
are likely to rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. While an army of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these issues can
be tackled
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising
offenders
strictly
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
steps that can
be taken
to cope with it.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the strict punishments set up for the driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fear to break the laws.
For instance
, if they
are proven
to disobey the applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, it is
seemly
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to punish them by taking their driving licenses
forcefully
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This measure is likely to alert them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
breaking the laws
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if they commit it they cannot drive anymore. This way can
indirectly
encourage them to obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
are likely to
be declined
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are applicable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the drivers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the ordinary commuters
as well
. While an over-bridge or an under pathway is mandatory for crossing the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not obey this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. It is not unusual that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
careless drivers do not follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
signals and all these violations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
cause severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and congestion in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities.
Hence
, implementing strict punishment and fine can be one effective solution to tackle this issue.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures could be more successful to address this problem, including creating awareness among citizens to drive
safely
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
seminars & training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety and
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernising' is British English.
modernising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
control system. The research carried out by Statistics Center, an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
at the University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diponegoro
, reveals that citizens in Semarang who have wide knowledge about how to drive
safely
tend to obey the applied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
if compared to the ones who
Did you mean "do"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'ones' should be used.
does
not have this knowledge. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that these measures can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
to create a consciousness to be safe riders.

Apart from that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cars and buses on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities is much higher and restricting the private car ownership can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cars on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
or casualties. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
system with modern equipment and enrolling more trained and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
police could be another great way to tackle this issue.

To conclude
, the establishment of punishment
strictly
is a wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by presenting workshops and training
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to all citizens,
especially
drivers of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
vehicles, improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
control system are the finest ways to encourage them to increase security on the way.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 17

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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