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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.3

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 3
Some individuals opine that there should be a harsh penalization for the drivers who disobey the traffic rules, on the contrary, another group of people have a view that other should be adopted to cope up with this situation, I agree with the former statement up to some extent whereas, In my opinion, the combination of both the ideas should be implemented to ensure better road safety. To commence with, there are numerous laws in our which are implemented to deter traffic violations, for instance, cancellation of driving n massive tickets on over-speeding furthermore to serious accident resulting in any serious injury also leads to penalisation and arrest under police custody. On the other hand, other ways are also immensely vital to ensure road safety. Therefore, different awareness campaigns related to road safety should be put on social and electronic media frequently to make people more aware of the rules and regulations. As a result, people will be more careful on the road while driving. In my opinion, the combination of both the ideas if implied would be more effective. Harsh penalisation and cancellation of the licence can ensure the security and safety as the drivers will be more careful in future, and awareness campaigns ensure that people would be more aware of traffic rules leads to fewer accidents. To conclude, strict and uncompromising measures should be taken for the traffic violations to avoid accidents in addition to the other measurements which make sure the road safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals opine that there should be a harsh penalization for the drivers who disobey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
on the contrary
, another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
should
be adopted
to cope up with this situation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former statement up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent whereas, In my opinion, the combination of both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
should
be implemented
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.

To commence with, there are numerous laws in our which
are implemented
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
violations,
for instance
, cancellation of driving n massive tickets on over-speeding
furthermore
to serious accident resulting in any serious injury
also
leads to
Do not mix variants of the same word ('penalisation' and 'penalization') within a single text.
penalisation
and arrest under police custody.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways are
also
immensely
vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
awareness campaigns related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
should
be put
on social and electronic media
frequently
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more careful on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
while driving.

In my opinion, the combination of both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
if implied would be more effective. Harsh
Do not mix variants of the same word ('penalisation' and 'penalization') within a single text.
penalisation
and cancellation of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
the security and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
as the drivers will be more careful
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
, and awareness campaigns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ensure
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
leads to fewer accidents.

To conclude
, strict and uncompromising measures should
be taken
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
violations to avoid accidents
in addition
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measurements which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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