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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 4
Many people opine that one of the most effective ways to prevent traffic accidents is that strict penalties should be given for traffic violations. Whereas others argue that other measures might be help enhancing to make our roads safer. In my view, both opinions can be used together to promote better driving habits. On the one hand, our government has already signed law which is directed at ensuring security of road traffic. When strict traffic laws are imposed, drivers would need to control their private vehicles more carefully to avoid being punished. For instance, who violated stopping or parking rules will be fined for the sum equal to three size of minimum salary. The aim of these punishments is to show dangerous drivers that their actions have negative consequences. These actually lead to reduction of driving offences. On the other hand, I believe that safe driving can be promoted in two vital ways that do not punish drivers. Firstly governments or local councils could reduce road accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer people would need to travel by car. Secondly, more attention could be paid to safe road design. For example, signs can be used to warn people, speed bumps and road bends can be added to calm traffic, and speed cameras can help to deter people from driving too quickly. In conclusion, while strict punishments can help to prevent bad driving, I believe that other road safety measures should also be introduced and it may be more effective if both are used together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that one of the most effective ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents is that strict penalties should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
violations.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to enhance" or "enhance".
enhancing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
safer. In my view, both opinions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
together to promote better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
habits.

On the one hand, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has already signed law which
is directed
at ensuring security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. When strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws
are imposed
, drivers would need to control their private vehicles more
carefully
to avoid
being punished
.
For instance
, who violated stopping or parking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
will
be fined
for the sum equal to three size of minimum salary. The aim of these punishments is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
drivers that their actions have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. These actually lead to reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
can
be promoted
in two vital ways that do not punish drivers.
Firstly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
or local councils could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents by investing in better public transport, which would mean that fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would need to travel by car.
Secondly
, more attention could
be paid
to safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
design.
For example
, signs can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to warn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, speed bumps and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
bends can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, and speed cameras can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
too
quickly
.

In conclusion
, while strict punishments can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety measures should
also
be introduced
and it may be more effective if both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
together.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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