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Some people think that it is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space when we have so many problems on our own planet. Others believe such searches help mankind to develop. v.1

Some people think that it is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space when we have so many problems on our own planet. Others believe such searches help mankind to develop. v. 1
Only a few percentages of people on earth are affluent while a majority of the world population is suffering from hunger, malnutrition, diseases, scarcity of housing, lack of pure drinking water and this list would go on and on. A group of people think that researching outer space is totally unjustified while people on earth have so many problems. On the contrary, the second group of people believe that outer world research is important for our own advancement. I agree with the second group of people who believe space research is necessary and justified. First and foremost, only a few developed countries like the USA, Australia, Japan, Russia and the UK spend money and resources for the space analysis. If they stop this exploration and research, they are not going to give this fund to poor countries to fight their housing, crime, diseases, and hunger issues. To put in other words, practically it is not possible to use the space research fund to solve pressing issues of all the countries. Furthermore, poor and developing nations should utilise their own resources to address their problems rather than taking donations or loans from rich nations. Another key thing to remember, space exploration is necessary to understand the universe and life on earth. This could open a whole new window of development. So far we have not been able to trace any intelligent species on other plant but who knows when we meet them what development and information they might share with us. IT might be the best next solution for the pressing issues we have on our small planet. We should not stop studying the universe we live in and concentrating on earthly issues is not a viable solution for the overall development of the mankind. In conclusion, space research is purely scientific works and can bring unimaginable development for us. Since only a few developed countries invest on space exploration and research, it should be carried on.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a few percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on earth are affluent while a majority of the world population is suffering from hunger, malnutrition, diseases, scarcity of housing, lack of pure drinking water and this list would go on and on. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that researching outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
is
totally
unjustified while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on earth have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
On the contrary
, the second group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that outer world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advancement. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is necessary and justified.

First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, Australia, Japan, Russia and the UK spend money and resources for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
analysis. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this exploration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, they are not going to give this fund to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to fight their housing, crime, diseases, and hunger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. To put
in other words
,
practically
it is not possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
fund to solve pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Furthermore
, poor and developing nations should
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
resources to address their problems
rather
than taking donations or loans from rich nations.

Another key thing to remember,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration is necessary to understand the universe and life on earth. This could open a whole new window of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far we have not been able to trace any intelligent species on other plant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
who knows when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and information they might share with us. IT might be the best
next
solution for the pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
we have on our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
planet. We should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
studying the universe we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and concentrating on
earthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is not a viable solution for the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of the mankind.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is
purely
scientific works and can bring unimaginable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
for us. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, it should
be carried
on.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is wrong for humans to search for new worlds in space when we have so many problems on our own planet. Others believe such searches help mankind to develop. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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