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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial art should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial art should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. v. 1
Learning is a process which never ends, we keep learning throughout our lives. Many people opine that learning is more effective in a group rather than learning alone. The essay will discuss why it completely supports the aforementioned statement. To begin with, teamwork has proven to be an effective way to reach a desired goal. There are justifiable evidences which highlight the significance of teamwork leading to effective learning among group individuals. Apart from this it not only makes achieving a task easier, but also helps in building good relationships among individuals within a team. A pilot study done in the USA shows how working in a group leads to increase in knowledge pool among the peers. A group consists of people from different study backgrounds and cultural outlook, and their approach towards a problem may vary from each other. But this significantly helps increase a person’s understanding about a situation and the ability to tackle the issue. However, working alone does has the flexibility of working at one’s own pace. But the learning is limited to the amount of knowledge the individual already possesses. Although working in a group can be a tough task at times, which can create differences of opinion, but different discussions and approaches do open unexplored avenues which lead to learning. For instance, a study states that employers prefer to hire individuals who are more efficient in working as a team, than alone. This is the prime reason why children’s in schools and colleges are given projects which require them to work in a group. To conclude, working in a group a person not only learns essential traits effective to work in a group. It even helps a person widens his horizons and gives detailed understanding, which can be achieved when working alone. Thus, it is completely preposterous to claim that a person learns more when working alone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
is a process which never ends, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
throughout our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. The essay will discuss why it completely supports the aforementioned statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, teamwork has proven to be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way to reach a desired goal. There are justifiable evidences which highlight the significance of teamwork leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. Apart from this it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
achieving a task easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
within a team. A pilot study done in the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
leads to increase in knowledge pool among the peers. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
consists of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
study backgrounds and cultural outlook, and their approach towards a problem may vary from each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
understanding about a situation and the ability to tackle the issue.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
does has the flexibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is limited
to the amount of knowledge the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
already possesses. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can be a tough task at times, which can create differences of opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
discussions and approaches do open unexplored avenues which lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
For instance
, a study states that employers prefer to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who are more efficient in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
as a team, than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
. This is the prime reason why children’s in schools and colleges are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
projects which require them to work in a group.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learns essential traits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
to work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. It even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
widens his horizons and gives detailed understanding, which can
be achieved
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
Thus
, it is completely preposterous to claim that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
learns more when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial art should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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