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Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. v. 1
Nowadays, we are living in an era when young people more stressed. Some people claim that the major source is sports competitions. They believe that adolescents should be prevented from participating in those events. However, I oppose this statement. In my opinion, banning youths from sports events is not the right solution for this issue Firstly, preventing teenagers from taking part in sports competitions is not only an impractical but also a detrimental measure. Sport is the easiest way to make striplings keep have a balanced life after they have done most of the exercise at school or office. Moreover, banning youths from sports tournament also make all of them unattractive. Therefore, they do not have the agility to do some physical activity. For instance, some students who do not have enough physical movement can easily be injured after they do some exercise. Furthermore, the sport also can make all of them have a social activity with a friend. It can make us have good collaboration, exact target, and also have good communication with friends. During sports competitions, a good team is needed because we must have fine cooperation to ensure that the target must be reached. For example, I have a friend who usually joined a sports tournament. Because he often joins the sports game, he can easily interact with each other, it proves that the sport also has a positive impact on adolescent life. In conclusion, I tend to disagree if young people prohibited from physical competition. Therefore, preventing adolescence to take participation in physical tournament make their life unbalanced and it also can make they are more difficult to communicate with each other.
Nowadays, we are living in an era when young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the major source is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
. They believe that adolescents should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from participating in those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
However
, I oppose this statement. In my opinion, banning youths from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is not the right solution for this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
issue


Firstly
, preventing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an impractical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a detrimental measure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sport
is the easiest way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
striplings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
have a balanced life after they have done most of the exercise at school or office.
Moreover
, banning youths from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournament
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
all of them unattractive.
Therefore
, they do not have the agility to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
movement can
easily
be injured
after they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
all of them have a social activity with a friend. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
collaboration, exact target, and
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication with friends. During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
team
is needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have fine cooperation to ensure that the target
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be reached
.
For example
, I have a friend who
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournament.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game, he can
easily
interact with each other, it proves that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on adolescent life.

In conclusion
, I tend to disagree if young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prohibited from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
Therefore
, preventing adolescence to take participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
tournament
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their life unbalanced and it
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
they are more difficult to communicate with each other.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that sport competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sport competitions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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